Shark's Cove, Oahu, Hawaii
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Saturday, March 19, 2011

KC, a Chip Off her Dad's Techie Block; Sendai Update

We got a Skype call from our daughter, Tiffany and 4 year old granddaughter KC this morning. It just amazed us that she's using the mouse now to select emoticons (and pictures) and knows how to left click to send it to us.

"Look, Grandpa," she'd call out excitedly, "I'm sending you lots of coffee." Then we'd see photos of mugs of coffee appear on our Skype screen.

I remember a time when I'd have to limit the calls I made to Hawaii from Chicago because of the expense. Now we can see and talk to KC and Tif whenever we want for FREE. We can even have a three way conversation with Tif in Chicago and her husband Ed (wherever he is on business) so he can advise us on some computer glitch. It just boggles my mind every time.

UPDATE on Sendai:
I was able to place another call to Sendai yesterday so my mother could speak to her sister, Atsuko. Mom told Aunt Atsuko that we were concerned about what we were seeing on TV about the radiation levels in Fukushima as well as all the shortages.

My aunt said they're still doing OK. My cousin's husband's family has a business that was not affected too greatly by the earthquake. They have been selling out on quite a few of their household items such as containers (to hold water, etc.), small gas stoves, etc. Profit is very small because they have to drive very far to Niigata to keep their shelves somewhat stocked and the cost in fuel to transport products is expensive. When they travel to Niigata, they're able to get water for my aunt's family. Aunt Atsuko says they are much luckier than many others in the area. She says her new grandson is keeping their spirits up with his smiles and happy squeals.

Still, my mother let them know that our house is always open to them if they can get themselves over here. They know about the radiation risk, but so far feel they are safe.

Since the train lines were down, the only method of transportation is the bus. My Aunt Suzuko in Tokyo offered to bring milk, diapers or whatever they needed by bus, but Aunt Atsuko told her it was still unnecessary.

There is a word in Japanese that is a common philosophy. It's called enryo. This link gives you a more thorough meaning, but basically it means to defer your own needs for others. Somebody might offer you a delectable treat and you may enryo and not accept it so they can enjoy it instead.

In that way, I fear our relatives would enryo rather than impose on us. Heavy sigh...

26 friendly comments:

  1. Yes, blogger Tokyo5, who is an American married to a Japanese and living in Tokyo, said the same thing. The Japanese are taught from childhood to consider the feelings of others before their own.

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  2. Aww, such a cute Skype picture. Yeah, KC will have the computer and Internet mastered in no time.

    Fascinating reading about enryo linguistically and philosophically.
    It must be hard to be on the giving end, though, as your sigh indicates.

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  3. Thank you for sending your updates to your bloggy friends. I've stopped listening to the news constantly, as I did in the beginning of this. I believe your news more than the media. I agree what you say about Japanese people. When I lived in Florida and was macrobiotic for 25 years, I found out what caring, wonderful people you are.
    Love and peace.

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  4. I followed the link and read about enryo. I knew there was something like that but had no idea what it is called.

    I will ask you something and see if you are familiar with it and if it is still "the thing to do" under the circumstances.

    When I was in Japan, if I did something for someone — like give them a small gift or do something for them. Then when I was there, I learned that the thing to do was to give a gift in return but of greater value. Or to give a gift of equal or greater value to someone who does something for you.

    I have always thought it is the best way. But there are finer points that I was not aware of. I know what a gift is or what digging up a flower is but the subtle things like going around Sendai, where I stood 50 years earlier, and taking a picture of the same building or spot and sending it to me.

    That, in thanks for me putting the picture on the Internet of the way it was when this person was a little kid in school.

    I never fully understood this and am not sure if it is still done. It does not matter what the gift or even is the people respond in a way that is related to what you did.

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  5. interesting about enryo...glad to know your family is ok in Japan. KC sounds so computer literate.

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  6. It's good to hear your Sendai relatives are doing O.K. It must be comforting for your mother to be able to talk to her sister and be reassured by her.

    As for that techi grand daughter of yours, soon you'll be Skyping HER for computer advice!

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  7. Abe: If you posted something in your blog and your friend went out and took photos of what it looks like now, that's good enough. If you asked that friend to go out and do this for you, then it would be nice to do something for him as a thank you since it would have required quite a bit of effort on his part to do it.

    As for the whole returning of a gift thing... it differs so much according to circumstances. I can't even begin to explain it all... especially since I don't always understand the nuances of it. I can tell you that presentation is part of it, too. Oh dear! I must stop there.

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  8. Sylvia: No, I've been so preoccupied lately that I didn't realize you were making this move. I did wonder that something was happening, but I wasn't sure what. Thank you for the update. I'm really excited about your move and hope everything goes swiftly and smoothly. You are such a wonderful mother and friend.

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  9. They know that your bond is strong. That must give them the courage and help to continue - don't under-rate the power of aloha, Kay. You make ME feel better, and we are 'just' blog-ohana :-)



    Warm Aloha to you
    from Town

    Comfort Spiral

    ><}}(°>


    ><}}(°>

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  10. Good to have the latest report from Japan. I hope things improve quickly for the Japanese people.

    That is a precious picture of KC. Aren't children amazing?

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  11. It's wonderful to know that your friends and family are safe. And thanks for the link about that enryo word, it's a concept that I wish we had here in the US, but sadly, we don't have anything similar. At least that I know about.

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  12. Your granddaughter is a real sweetheart. Amazing how much kids know at that age.
    It's good to know your family is safe, but still worrisome knowing the dangers they continue to be exposed to. Like DJan, I wish enryo was a concept Americans knew. We could learn much from the exceptional Japanese culture.

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  13. I think of you everytime I watch the news on Japan... I am keeping up with your updates and I am again so struck by the selflessness of the Japanese. I think we are all admiring this culture of self sacrifice, helping one another and not complaining...it is amazing... I feel as if I have watched KC grow up with you...Michelle

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  14. Of all the people in the world, they have dignity and strength, as evidenced by the news and the stories.

    Re: Skype, it is fabulous.
    This is so much fun. Here is our Skype video!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MenK5GKjUxs
    Can you imagine a man doing this?! He loves being grandpa!

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  15. family is what it's all about and technology certainly enables us to keep contact with them wherever they are in the world...

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  16. Kay, I am so glad that your family seems to be doing fine. I know you must feel anxiety wondering if this enryo is keeping them from accepting your offer of hospitality. I am praying for your family.

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  17. I hope that enryo doesn't end up hurting them in the end. Reports of radiation in the water as well as the food chain frightens me terribly.

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  18. I love the photos of KC!!! She is so bright!!!

    I'm glad your family in Japan is doing well and that continues.

    Thanks for a great post!

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  19. SO glad about the update from your aunt, and got a good giggle about KC. Children are amazing these days!
    We're having a super trip so far.
    More soon.
    -- K

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  20. I would have said there is no such thing as "too polite" but I think you have just given that scenario. I pray that they really are safe and well.

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  21. Nature sure does put blue and green together well. Lovely capture.

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  22. It is so frustrating that we can't do anything but give money to help.

    My husband bought a Euro lottery ticket on Friday so that, if he won the £91million, he could buy goods and fly them over to Japan.

    What a wonderful philosophy enryo is; much like the Christian command to love your neighbour as yourself, which is sadly not adhered to any more (if it ever was)in this supposedly Christian country.

    All I would say is keep offering shelter to your relatives; if things get too bad, they will know they have somewhere to go. and sometimes, just that knowledge keeps people going.

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  23. Hi Kay,
    I'm glad your family is OK now.

    Today some vegetables from Fukushima, Tochigi, Gunma and Ibaragi are not allowed to sell by Japanese government.

    by the way do you use facebook?
    if you feel like it, please email me and invite me.

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  24. It does seem as if the Japanese do not like to be beholden to others, but at some point this could be very dangerous for them.
    I worked as an ESL teacher for many years and still find the Japanese the hardest to understand of all the groups I worked with. Not true of Japanese Americans, however. They are no longer fatalistic, I think.
    I would be doing everything I could to remove myself from Sendai, if I were there. I would not imagine that being surrounded by people in a similar fix was going to help them, or me.
    Just shows I really can't understand.

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  25. Hattie: The reason they can't/won't leave is their businesses are there as well as a larger extended family. They can't all leave together and won't leave anybody behind. I could overhear my mother and aunt saying that they suffered so much during the war that this is something they can bear.

    My relatives also live in a higher elevation so the tsunami did not reach them. They feel they are safe for now.

    I can only hope.

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  26. What a sweet child!!! Her techie propensity probably IS genetic!

    'Enryo' is a marvelous concept -- something we ALL could practice.

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