Healing Hiatus

It's almost three weeks now since I broke my arm and a long way to go yet before I can more easily use the computer with two hands.

It's a learning process each day to figure out what I can manage on my own and what I shouldn't.

I find it interesting when we're out and see other people with arms in a sling or sitting in a wheelchair. We always smile at each other knowingly as if to say, "I know what you're going through."

Art and mom are truly helpful angels.

You'd think eating a papaya wouldn't be that difficult, but it's hard with one hand. One very early morning, Art went out walking with his friend and left me my papaya with pieces scooped out for me.

It's all getting better slowly, but I will have to take another month’s blog hiatus to give myself time to heal.

Sending you all lots of love until I'm back.

Pain Relief With a TENS Unit

When we were in China five years ago, we purchased a TENS unit from our tour guide who explained that he was actually a doctor, but did tour guiding to maintain his English for a couple of months a year.

When we returned to Hawaii, I was seeing a physical therapist for tendinitis and he inspected the unit and said it was all right to use it. He said they use a far more expensive version for pain relief at the rehab center although he didn't use it on me.

So what is a TENS unit?

TENS, or Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation, is the use of electrical impulses delivered by a TENS unit via electrodes placed on the skin in order to create alterations in pain perception.  An at home TENS unit is easy to use for symptomatic pain relief including joint pain and muscle pain.

Now that I'm going to Rehabilitation of Aiea and seeing Stephanie again (I saw her two years ago for a back problem) she had me try the TENS unit and it did feel good. So I took out the old unit.

It does feel good.  It's like a gentle buzzing massage.

Does it lessen the pain the rest of the time when I move my arm?

Well.... I don't know. I don't think so. Stephanie says I'm doing great though. She's wonderful about giving positive reinforcement.

Yes, she gives me hope.

I asked her if she's ever treated another person with an injury like mine. She said, "No, usually people end up bracing themselves with their hands instead of falling on their shoulder like you did.. You're unique."

See what I mean about positive feedback? She makes me laugh so I don't cry.

I'm progressing... albeit slowly.

Saturday Calamity

Sometimes life manages to throw calamities at you one after another when you least expect it. We had just returned from Japan the night before on Friday and were busy on Saturday doing a ton of errands.

As I was climbing up the steps with my hands full in the afternoon, I didn't raise my foot high enough on the last step and fell forward.

I thought I'd be able to catch myself, but no. That didn't happen. I was dazed for a moment not knowing if I'd bruised myself somewhere.

Art came up the stairs, saw me on the floor, but when he offered a hand to help me stand, I realized something was wrong.

So off we went to Tripler Army Medical Hospital.

Art joked that they'd just have to pop my shoulder back into place like they do in the movies and I'd be back to normal.

When the nurse asked what my pain level was I could  say, "10" for the first time in my life.

I was sent to get my arm X-rayed which was a painful process.

The doctor arrived and said there were multiple fractures. He wanted more X-rays so back I went to radiology.

He said there were a couple of options on the table. The breaks needed to be measured to see if surgery would be required. Otherwise, my arm could be in a sling for a couple of weeks with about 8 weeks of healing time, followed by lots of physical therapy.

The second set of X-rays were not good enough to  make that determination so I was then sent for a CT scan. Meanwhile, the orthopedic surgeon explained the two incisions that would have to be made.

I was not happy about this.

On the plus side, once the surgery secured my bones, he said it would be stabilized and I wouldn't be in as much pain.

On the other hand, if I didn't need the surgery I wouldn't have the surgical scars but it would be more painful for a longer period of time.

Sheesh!

I was given Vicodin which let me tell you... helps, but not enough.

The CT scan showed that the two big breaks were running horizontal and vertical on the ball of the humerus, but the gaps were just under the amount where surgery was required.

I was relieved. I think.

In the days that followed, I had to take myself off the opioid because it caused extreme constipation. Prune juice, fiber powder, laxatives didn't make things a whole lot easier. The surgeon said I should take Extra Strength Tylenol because Ibuprofen would inhibit bone healing.

I was touched and surprised when family and friends suddenly arrived with get well flowers, meals, fruits, etc.

It's been an ordeal, but I'm truly blessed. Art is the best caregiver around knowing just how much to help without making me feel helpless. I'm learning what I can do with one hand. I'm so grateful it's the left arm that was injured and not my right.

All this makes me better understand what other people have to go through and this is a good thing.

Thursday: Ososhiki (Funeral)

Unlike the wake on the previous day which was at 6:00 in the evening, the funeral was at 10:00 in the morning. Art and I were surprised that the funeral was scheduled so quickly, just one week after Sam's death. In Hawaii, funerals are so backed up that it often takes a month or more for a funeral to be scheduled and visitations or wakes are held an hour or so before the funeral.

We were surprised at the size and elegant atmosphere of the funeral home. I got these photos off the web. It was unlike any funeral home we'd seen in the U.S. The crematorium is on an upper floor, funeral parlors and banquet halls below to serve meals to guests.

The wake had been held the previous day in the same place so we were more familiar with the directions to getting there on the train and streets to  navigate on foot.

We went through similar rituals as the day before, but this time we were also invited to take part in the kotsuage (picking bones with chopsticks after cremation ceremony) which is usually reserved just for family.

Family members first placed flowers in the coffin covering Sam with beautiful roses and other white blooms. His favorite sweater was also folded and placed on his chest. As we placed our flowers on Sam, emotion choked me.

Everyone then followed the casket upstairs to the crematorium where we prayed as he was moved in. It was truly the final good bye.

We went downstairs to wait and in perhaps an hour we went back up for the kotsuage.

The body is brought back out in ashes and some large bones. Art and I were both presented with chopsticks to take a large bone together and add it to the ceramic urn. We learned that this is why it is very impolite to pass food with chopsticks to each other in Japan.

We then went downstairs for a very elaborate luncheon. Sam's family had made sure that we would be seated next to some English speaking relatives which was really wonderful.

Friday was our day of departure back to Hawaii. Sam's family invited us to a luncheon at an elegant Italian restaurant near their home. We then attended a preschool activity for one of Sam's grandsons and was taken to their new home that Sam had been looking forward to showing us in June. Sam and his wife lived downstairs and his son and family live on the second floor.

I noticed that at the family altar (butsudan) for Sam, our sympathy card with mom's beautiful message written in Japanese was carefully placed.

And then... too quickly, it was time to leave. Sam's son took us to the train station where he insisted on pulling our luggage and then purchasing our tickets on the rather expensive Narita Express.

Our flight was comfortable on Hawaiian Airlines and we arrived home without a problem. We'd been gone just five days and it all seemed surreal.

I can still hear Sam's laughter and see his smiles in my memories. His family is still part of our lives and Sam's legacy is in the love he left for all of us to cherish. And Art? He is content that he was able to have this last moment with his treasured friend.

Wednesday: Otsuya

The Otsuya (wake) for our dear friend, Sam was to be at 6:00 PM so we decided to take a little time to visit the Firefighter Museum (free admission) next door to the hotel after breakfast.

We were really loving our free buffet breakfasts in the morning which sustained us so that we had small lunches during the day.

Since our son was a firefighter in New Mexico for a few years, this was especially interesting to us.

There were several floors of artifacts showing firefighting in Japan spanning hundreds of years.

I can't imagine fighting a fire in such heavy clothing. The red robes for women was to distinguish them as high society members escaping a fire. Information stated that sometimes the firefighting garment was used by assassins to infiltrate a guarded area.

It was soon time to prepare ourselves for the Otsuya.

We caught the subway train to the funeral home and was amazed at how the Japanese will all very politely stay on the left side of the escalator so people wanting to move more quickly can pass easily.

We passed by bicycles with backpacks and other possessions just sitting there unlocked. No one seemed afraid that somebody would steal anything.

Once we arrived at the Funeral Home, we were greeted by Sam's family with tears and hugs (which isn't the usual Japanese custom).

We presented our koden (monetary gift) to a fellow who collected them carefully in a neat, uniform pile. American type sympathy cards are not given in Japan, only these koden envelopes.

We had bought these koden envelopes while shopping the day before so we enclosed the envelope with our sympathy card. The poor person who accepted our card didn't quite know what to do, but it was all right.

A little ticket was handed out which we were told to hold on to in order to receive a thank you gift from the family.

The funeral director arranged everyone into four lines to pay respects to the family. We bowed to the family, offered incense, bowed again and turned around to receive a rather large gift box of jellied desserts.

We were then taken to a room where refreshments were served before leaving the funeral home. It was all very formal, very somber and structured.

I seemed so unreal. I just couldn't believe Sam was gone.

Tuesday in Japan

I took an Ambien the night before to insure I'd get some halfway decent sleep. We decided to use the day to walk around Tokyo in the sunlight to get our Circadian rhythms adjusted to Japan time. We had just gotten adjusted to Hawaii time after returning from Europe and now we were in the other direction.

Art thought we could walk to the Shinjuku area.

But first, there was this amazing breakfast buffet with both Western and Asian selections.

We had been invited to have dinner with Sam's family, but we declined knowing how busy they had to be with the formal wake (Otsuya) the following day.

We almost missed taking a photo of this because it was behind us, but noticed a lot of people taking photos of Godzilla so we joined in and did the same.

Since I do love shopping at the Daiso store, (Japanese dollar store) we decided to look for one in Shinjuku. I had to ask a LOT of people who didn't speak English, but finally managed to find it.

It felt like there were a thousand shops in the area.

On the way back to the hotel we found this co-op market that had some things that mom has always been wanting. We were able to get quite a few things for her at very reasonable prices compared to Hawaii.

Earlier in the morning, the person at the desk asked if we wanted our room cleaned, points for the hotel membership, or free water. We opted for the free bottles of water.

In the evening, we found this bag of toiletries, clean towels and more hotel pajamas to use since we opted not to have maids come into our room.

Dinner was at a very small and quaint restaurant nearby.

Wednesday would be the wake and we weren't sure exactly what to expect.