The Otsuya (wake) for our dear friend, Sam was to be at 6:00 PM so we decided to take a little time to visit the Firefighter Museum (free admission) next door to the hotel after breakfast.
We were really loving our free buffet breakfasts in the morning which sustained us so that we had small lunches during the day.
Since our son was a firefighter in New Mexico for a few years, this was especially interesting to us.
There were several floors of artifacts showing firefighting in Japan spanning hundreds of years.
I can't imagine fighting a fire in such heavy clothing. The red robes for women was to distinguish them as high society members escaping a fire. Information stated that sometimes the firefighting garment was used by assassins to infiltrate a guarded area.
It was soon time to prepare ourselves for the Otsuya.
We caught the subway train to the funeral home and was amazed at how the Japanese will all very politely stay on the left side of the escalator so people wanting to move more quickly can pass easily.
We passed by bicycles with backpacks and other possessions just sitting there unlocked. No one seemed afraid that somebody would steal anything.
Once we arrived at the Funeral Home, we were greeted by Sam's family with tears and hugs (which isn't the usual Japanese custom).
We presented our koden (monetary gift) to a fellow who collected them carefully in a neat, uniform pile. American type sympathy cards are not given in Japan, only these koden envelopes.
We had bought these koden envelopes while shopping the day before so we enclosed the envelope with our sympathy card. The poor person who accepted our card didn't quite know what to do, but it was all right.
A little ticket was handed out which we were told to hold on to in order to receive a thank you gift from the family.
The funeral director arranged everyone into four lines to pay respects to the family. We bowed to the family, offered incense, bowed again and turned around to receive a rather large gift box of jellied desserts.
We were then taken to a room where refreshments were served before leaving the funeral home. It was all very formal, very somber and structured.
I seemed so unreal. I just couldn't believe Sam was gone.
Since our son was a firefighter in New Mexico for a few years, this was especially interesting to us.
There were several floors of artifacts showing firefighting in Japan spanning hundreds of years.
We caught the subway train to the funeral home and was amazed at how the Japanese will all very politely stay on the left side of the escalator so people wanting to move more quickly can pass easily.
Once we arrived at the Funeral Home, we were greeted by Sam's family with tears and hugs (which isn't the usual Japanese custom).
We presented our koden (monetary gift) to a fellow who collected them carefully in a neat, uniform pile. American type sympathy cards are not given in Japan, only these koden envelopes.
We had bought these koden envelopes while shopping the day before so we enclosed the envelope with our sympathy card. The poor person who accepted our card didn't quite know what to do, but it was all right.
A little ticket was handed out which we were told to hold on to in order to receive a thank you gift from the family.
The funeral director arranged everyone into four lines to pay respects to the family. We bowed to the family, offered incense, bowed again and turned around to receive a rather large gift box of jellied desserts.
We were then taken to a room where refreshments were served before leaving the funeral home. It was all very formal, very somber and structured.
I seemed so unreal. I just couldn't believe Sam was gone.
What a different custom that I have ever experienced myself. I am glad you are giving me all this education, Kay. And I am so sorry for the loss of Sam at such a young age. :-(
ReplyDeleteSo interesting to read about Japan's customs.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter and I saw The Greatest Showman last night and loved it thanks for the referral. I am now a Hugh Jackman fan.
wow, sounds so formal...but maybe there is comfort in that also.
ReplyDeleteI am still so sorry. My friend Claudia died last month, and I still cannot believe she is gone.
ReplyDeleteI have always admired the polite calm nature of the people of Japan and how safe Japan is, the highly structured disciplined of their ways seem to strange to many of us but I admire their sense of loyalty to tradition.Thank you Kay for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteFascinating.
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard to lose a friend, especially to lose one unexpectedly. I am sure your presence meant a great deal to Sam's family.
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting experience. I would love to see something like that, but not too happy that it was a funeral.
ReplyDeleteJapan is such a fascinating place and its culture is like nowhere else in the world. Thank you for the insight you provide.
ReplyDeleteThere are many ways to acknowledge the loss of a person. We need a procedure to say our good bye. this was an interesting ceremony.
ReplyDeleteWow, what structure: formal lines to pay respects, and the thank you gift! I'm sure your attending meant alot to Sam's family. Was there a "guest book" like what we use here, for those attending to sign. I know, sometimes that book is looked at by families so they can learn or remember who came.
ReplyDeleteLinda in Kansas
We all had to sign guest cards each time we came.
DeleteI think I saw an anime with a old school Japanese firefighting unit in action. Certainly different.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for the loss of your friend Kay... hugs.. Michelle
ReplyDelete