Showing posts with label Separation Anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Separation Anxiety. Show all posts

Monday, August 23, 2010

Separation Anxiety

I just read an article in the Honolulu Star Advertiser that some colleges are now staging "parting ceremonies." "Some undergraduate officials see in parents' separation anxieties evidence of the excesses of modern child-rearing. Dougharty and other student-life officials encourage parents to detach--not just drop-off, throughout the freshman year, including limiting phone calls and text messages."

I take it some parents are being overbearing and not allowing their children to become self-sufficient.

I found this quite interesting. I do remember how hard it was to drop my first born off at the University of Illinois. I do believe I went in with a pail and cleaning supplies and cleaned Tif's dorm room so she'd be germ free (just the first day!). I like to think I let her go without making it a big deal. She'd remember better than me. She's always been so independent that I imagine she would have chafed if we tried to do too much anyway.

Jon leaving was a little easier because we'd been through it once before. However, he went farther to Delaware. I remember Jon calling to say he'd like to come back for Thanksgiving and Art asked me why. He was surprised that Jon would want to come back. And yet, in the end, Jon was the one to cut apron strings faster and with more resolve traveling much farther, striking out on his own path.

Art left home after high school for Bradley University in Illinois. He never went home to the Big Island. There just wasn't enough money. He worked at the university in the summer and picked up more courses.

I went to the University of Hawaii, but I don't remember going home much. I stayed at the dorm and eventually, an apartment close by. There were no computers back then for e-mails. It was either a phone call or letter. In Art's case, a phone call would have been very expensive. In my case, my parents expected me to be grown up by the time I graduated from high school. It was a whole different mind set.

I suppose technology must make it even more difficult to separate from your children. It's something to think about.

Hmmm... I haven't heard from Tif in a couple of days. I need to send her an e-mail... or maybe Skype.