When they entered middle school, the Palestinian-American and Jewish American kids went to their respective Middle East areas during the summer to visit places of their heritage. It wasn't much later that I began to see the slow deterioration of what used to be easy and happy friendships.
I remember Jon mentioning how there was a verbal blow-out on the school bus. Eventually, they broke up into separate groups and that was that.
It brought to mind one of the most poignant songs from the musical, South Pacific by Rogers and Hammerstein.
You Have To Be Carefully Taught
"You've got to be taught
To hate and fear
You've got to be taught
From year to year
It's got to be drummed
In your dear little ear
You've got to be carefully taught.
You've got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made,
And people whose skin is a diff'rent shade,
You've got to be carefully taught.
You've got to be taught before it's too late,
Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate,
You've got to be carefully taught!."
-Oscar Hammerstein, 1949 "South Pacific"
Who knows? Maybe they would have moved on to different paths and friendships anyway because it's part of growing up. Jon got involved in swimming, running, water polo, etc. and the friends he made during all those practice sessions took up more of his time.
However, as I look at this old photo and scanned it for posterity, I couldn't help but feel sad.
Boy, that photo tells a story all by itself, doesn't it? But friendships do outgrow themselves and people move on, and it's not necessarily because of developing prejudices, I hope.
ReplyDeleteSome children grow up to hate gays and lesbians, also. Sad but true.
ReplyDeletewe lose lots of friends as our lives diverge...for different reasons
ReplyDeleteAnd unfortunately, so many children are taught to hate. But some friendships do end simply because of different interests as they grow older. Marvelous, thoughtful post as always, Kay!
ReplyDeleteSylvia
I suspect there was something said in that verbal blow up that led you to believe hatred was being taught. I certainly saw it all of the time when I was teaching. We live in a very diverse neighborhood too, byt many here are just surviving. When life is hard, it's easy to blame someone who is different.
ReplyDeleteWell said, Kay. Little children don't see color, race...they just want to play! Too bad that it changes.
ReplyDeleteInteresting post Kay. And photos do stir up memories.
ReplyDeleteWonderful, thoughtful post, Kay. How sad that those precious little souls grow learning how to hate.
ReplyDelete*Sigh*
ReplyDeleteAloha from Waikiki :)
Comfort Spiral
It's amazing how one photograph can bring up such memories. Very interesting and thought provoking post.
ReplyDeleteplanned parenthood produces the environment.
ReplyDeleteI'd love to sit and talk to you and Jon on this subject; I raised my kids for a few years in Northern Ireland. What a lot you learn, in a place like that -- a lot of it isn't happy.
ReplyDeleteWhat a story your old photos are telling! What a memoir this journey through them would make!
I used to play that record of the movie music all the time.
ReplyDeleteIn the 1950s brotherhood was being taught well in my Chicago public school. It was our parents that we had to teach not to hate the other.
Thanks for these photos and words, Kay.
Kay;
ReplyDeleteJon looked so cute there in your photos.
I think jean is rght, friendships change all the time. What brought you together as a 7 year old , can put distance between you as a 12 year old.
BTW, I loved musicals when I was young and when I first heard that song, I was also struck by what the words meant. Back in the 50's, predjudices were everywhere.
With each generation, it improves.
(Heck my grandparents were not at all happy that Jimmy was Catholic !
I married him anyway)
Not perfect by any means ,but improved.
Loved your skies above.
Lovely photos Kay and it does make you think doesnt it? People change for sure but I only wish we stayed childlike in many ways - acceptance comes so much more easily doesnt it? Fantastic post!
ReplyDelete