One of the interesting things we learned this past fall from Reiko, our Japanese tour guide was the art of giving monetary gifts in Japan.
She explained that the mizuhiki knots on the envelopes all had a significance. I had no idea.
A wedding envelope should have a very complicated knot that is seemingly impossible to untie. This is to signify that the marriage will never be undone.
With that in mind, you should never give an amount that is easily divisible.
The usual gift, according to Reiko is 30,000 ($300) or 50,000 Yen ($500), never 20,000 Yen. If you can only afford 20,000 Yen (ummm... that's about $200, mind you), you can give a 10,000 Yen bill plus two 5,000 Yen bills. I hope I have that right. Those zeros always confuse me. I guess it's all symbolic because it's quite easy to divide $300 into $150. Ah well... never mind.
However, a monetary birthday gift should have a simple knot to represent the receiver being able to untie and retie the happy experience many times.
Reiko also explained that black calligraphy is used for happy occasions and gray for funerals to connote the tears that diluted the ink.
Funeral money is called koden. It's a custom that's carried over to Hawaii.
We've always tried to make sure crisp bills are added to our sympathy card, but in Japan it's the opposite. A crisp bill might indicate that you were expecting that person to die and planned ahead with a crisp bill. Therefore people enclose older money or if it's too crisp, will fold it to show a crease.
The mizuhiki (knots) for koden envelopes are supposed to be black and white with the ends facing upwards.
I did find a website called Taiken Japan which explained a bit more about the mizuhiki envelopes. For one thing, the envelopes are called Noshibukuro. They also noted that Mizuhiki is a Japanese art form in which washi paper strands are used to make knots of various shapes and colors.
As interesting as all this was, I was glad I lived in the U.S. where we're not expected to shell out $300 or $500 for every wedding we attend. Good grief! We'd be broke in no time. Then again, you might make it up when you pass away, but you won't be able to enjoy it. Sigh...
She explained that the mizuhiki knots on the envelopes all had a significance. I had no idea.
A wedding envelope should have a very complicated knot that is seemingly impossible to untie. This is to signify that the marriage will never be undone.
With that in mind, you should never give an amount that is easily divisible.
The usual gift, according to Reiko is 30,000 ($300) or 50,000 Yen ($500), never 20,000 Yen. If you can only afford 20,000 Yen (ummm... that's about $200, mind you), you can give a 10,000 Yen bill plus two 5,000 Yen bills. I hope I have that right. Those zeros always confuse me. I guess it's all symbolic because it's quite easy to divide $300 into $150. Ah well... never mind.
However, a monetary birthday gift should have a simple knot to represent the receiver being able to untie and retie the happy experience many times.
Reiko also explained that black calligraphy is used for happy occasions and gray for funerals to connote the tears that diluted the ink.
Funeral money is called koden. It's a custom that's carried over to Hawaii.
We've always tried to make sure crisp bills are added to our sympathy card, but in Japan it's the opposite. A crisp bill might indicate that you were expecting that person to die and planned ahead with a crisp bill. Therefore people enclose older money or if it's too crisp, will fold it to show a crease.
The mizuhiki (knots) for koden envelopes are supposed to be black and white with the ends facing upwards.
I did find a website called Taiken Japan which explained a bit more about the mizuhiki envelopes. For one thing, the envelopes are called Noshibukuro. They also noted that Mizuhiki is a Japanese art form in which washi paper strands are used to make knots of various shapes and colors.
As interesting as all this was, I was glad I lived in the U.S. where we're not expected to shell out $300 or $500 for every wedding we attend. Good grief! We'd be broke in no time. Then again, you might make it up when you pass away, but you won't be able to enjoy it. Sigh...
I know asian cultures seem to give out money more at weddings than in the West. Most of my side gave literal gifts, Daisy's side gave mostly money
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting post. I have been to Japan, have Japanese friends and still did not know this about gifts to weddings, funerals, etc.
ReplyDeleteAnother enhancement of our world knowledge from Kay:-) Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThat is very interesting. I do like learning about the symbolism behind customs
ReplyDeleteI had no idea....
ReplyDeleteHow interesting. I think giving money for gifts in my experience is not as thoughtful as giving an actual present. Customs differ around the world, though. I like the idea of the wedding knot. Thanks for this, Kay. :-)
ReplyDeleteFascinating Kay
ReplyDeleteOh, gosh. That's all very complicated.
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting, however, to read about other cultures. I'm planning a post on my daughter's trip to Taipei, I hvae permission to use her photos! Quite the girl I have!
fascinating traditions...each culture has their own.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting, but also comic at the end of your post....I like the complicated knot for weddings. It reminded me of my grandmother making hundreds of 'love knots' on the ribbon of her wedding gift to me, long ago in 1972.
ReplyDeleteso many things to remember!! Very generous gifts for sure, I found the crumpled bills verses smooth bills really intriguing!!
ReplyDeleteThat was all very interesting and I did not know any of that!
ReplyDeleteInteresting, thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteSo much I didn't know! Very interesting.
ReplyDeleteKay! Do you take notes when the guide talks? We had Reiko on a previous tour, and she did teach us the same thing, but the only thing that I remembered later is to make a crease in a new bill if it's to be used for koden. I think that you must've been a good student as well as a good teacher. Me, I was the one trying to get a paper plane to fly out the door in class. True story. It was in geometry class. And I got caught when the plane landed on a sill above the door.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I definitely take notes in a little tablet. When I get back to the hotel at night, I transcribe everything I've learned. I need the information for our photobooks (and blog posts). We like to remember all our experiences. I'm not so sure I was a good student and I was sure not a great math student. Maybe that's why I had to marry an engineer.
DeleteOn my group day trips here in Israel I am normally the only one taking notes and taking pictures. I can never understand that. I guess it's just our being bloggers, eh, Kay?
DeleteGood onya for always making those beautiful photobooks.
Not many societies have things laid out in a black and white so that both sides know what is going on.
ReplyDeleteSo much symbolism! This was a fascinating post, but those money gifts are far more generous than I can afford or would be inclined to give! Here we just give plastic gift cards, no symbolism.
ReplyDeleteI don't attend weddings of acquaintances only good friends..Most people never send a thank you whatsoever so why bother giving anything..I only like to give items I have made for the bride and groom and wrap them up in dish towels and put a nice knife and cutlery item..But I usually don't go to most wedding invitations and I am abhorred over people who send me invitations with a request for money for their honeymoon or new home they want to buy, the nerve I say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMost people I've given gifts to have sent thank you notes, but there are a few that... well... oh well.
DeleteWhat? They ask for money? Oh dear...
This is all such beautiful symbolism, Kay! Thanks for teaching us.
ReplyDeleteWhen I spent two months in Japan in 1968, my overriding impression was that Japan is modern, yes, but it is soooo different in essence.
ReplyDeleteThank for your very good article.! i always enjoy & read the post you are sharing!
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