Mom is the eldest of five siblings. There used to be 7 but a brother died of leukemia at two years of age and a sister died a few months after her birth. A much younger brother and a sister still live in Japan. Two of her sisters were here in Hawaii with her.
Auntie Grace was about a year and a half younger than mom and seemed to be the strongest of the bunch. Mom was devastated when she passed away in February of 2015. In fact, she told us that Auntie Grace talks to her sometimes in her dreams.
It's difficult to see what could await all of us as we age.
Mom keeps telling us that she can't understand why she is the eldest and still walking around and quite healthy.
On our recent visit to their house, mom spent about an hour talking nonstop in a one way conversation to Auntie Dorothy. We knew auntie could understand by the movement of her eyes even though she couldn't respond.
Mom then spent quite a bit of time massaging her sister's legs to help circulation. My cousins were rather amazed as I was.
Meanwhile Art played Connect 4 with uncle. Would you believe he beat Art 4 out of 5 games? Uncle does have a special place in his heart for Art.
Art and I are concerned about mom's short term memory. It seems to suddenly be getting worse and it's scary.
And yet, we are grateful because she's healthy and able to handle her own personal needs.
I guess life is like a hand of cards. You just don't know what you'll be dealt.
Your last statement is so true. I was just reading on Canadian David Milgard who was jailed 23 years in prison (from age 16-39) for a crime he did not commit. He just died at 69.
ReplyDeleteThat last sentence is very true.
ReplyDeleteAll the best Jan
You are very blessed
ReplyDeleteFrom Lin-the final test is just that a test of our patience, courage and strength to endure to the end without knowing when, why or how.
ReplyDeleteYour Mom always looks so much younger than her age and I think some of it is due to the great care you and Art show her. Amazed at the 102 uncle beating Art. There are evidently good genes in her family which are yours too.
ReplyDeleteThat was nice your Mom got to visit Dorothy. My back would be sore from leaning over to massage Dorothy's legs. I'm thinking that your Mom's exercise and garden routines keep her good physical shape. Her listening to Japanese TV probably helps to keep her engaged. You could always call the doc office to see what they think about her memory decline. Even if a scan of the head revealed any tiny blockages, I'm not sure what the docs could recommend. Does Mom realize she has some memory lapses? You might have to supervise her cooking for safety. (My oldest brother noticed his wife would leave stove burners on. They actually purchased a type of stove with coordinate pots and pans, where the burner turns off when a pan is removed. Just to be a little safer.) Linda in Kansas
ReplyDeleteI loved that pic of your mom massaging her sister's legs... used to do that with my mother-in-law... she lived until she was 98. Circulation is important. You seem to have a wonderful caring family. Memory loss as we age is not always an indication of Alzheimer's or dementia... sometimes it's just our brains growing older and it takes longer for things to process (at least these are my optimistic thoughts).
ReplyDeleteNot to mention a lot of information stuffed in there--some of which needs to be purged! Do I really need useless telephone numbers and addresses from the 1950s through the 1990s? Only one set from all of those decades is valid now! lol
DeleteI used to be pretty cavalier about my life expectancy. Everyone in my family lived well into their late 80’s or 90’s. Then I lost my mom at 63 due to cancer and she was healthier than all of us. Since then, I have resolved to not count on longevity just in case I’ve been dealt a bad hand.
ReplyDeleteYou just don’t know when things will go wrong. I met a guy who celebrated his 90th on the tennis court. I was in my mid-fifties but already had to quit due to back problems. Sue’s grandfather lived until 105 and was buried beside his brother who only lived for 2 years.
ReplyDeleteI was the youngest of four
ReplyDeleteI am now dealing with signs of aging that are unexpected, and undiagnosed so far. I hope to learn more next month. Meanwhile I am not planning very far into the future. Your mother is doing very well. Short term memory loss is common with aging. Just keep on loving her. The love she shows for her sister is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI still feel strong - thank goodness for good health. Without that, life sucks. I worry for my kids when they feel they need to take care of me. I plan to have a plan in place so I am not a burden to them and yet still enjoy what I can.
ReplyDeleteTaking care of an aging mother can be enlightening. My mother's hearing is so poor even with hearing aides, it affects how she relates to us. Plus, mom has her favorite topics which we revisit a lot. Every once in awhile she shares a family secret which is new to me.
ReplyDeleteI love that your Uncle beat Art several times. Art is truly a good man.
Seeing loved ones age is definitely not for the weak of heart; there are good/bad genetics but then just lousy luck. My mom is also getting a bit forgetful. She's always had an excellent memory. I don't think that living alone is the best for her although I am down at her place every day to hang out, chat and help her with stuff. It's not the same as having Dad around.
ReplyDeleteI'm the oldest, my sister the youngest. Our two middle brothers are gone. No accounting for what you're delt.
ReplyDeleteOur attorney told us that we don't die in the order we're born when my younger brother unexpectedly died. He was relatively healthy and slender. I have a chronic illness and it's making life harder to live. But after wallowing in it and worrying about dying, I said I make the choice to live and will hang in there no matter what. Nothing I can do when it happens so no sense worry about it. The body knows how to live. it will know how to die. All us older folks face death either for us or for loved ones, all of it personal to them
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Neat ending after telling about the card game. Nothing is for sure. we take what is given and do our best with it. I'm sorry to hear about your Aunty. Your Mom has lots of experience with the sick and knows what comforts them.
ReplyDeleteI imagine your mom does so well because you and Art take such great care of her. :)
ReplyDeleteMy great aunt Margie, who I was named after, died at 104 in 2007. She went to bed one night and just didn't wake up in the morning.
ReplyDeleteNo, none of us know when it will be time for us to leave this life. My sister, seven years younger than me, died almost a decade ago. Your mother's memory issues is entirely normal for her age. I wonder about my own, and I'm not even eighty yet! :-)
ReplyDeleteI am the youngest of three. We each fit the descriptions of sibling placement. My brother is the rock, my sister is the caring, nurturing middle child and I am the spoiled rotten brat.
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