Shame was a big deal to the Japanese culture. I grew up with the knowledge that I shouldn't shame the family. I wouldn't leave my room in a mess because that was shameful. I wouldn't mistreat anyone because that was really shameful. I wouldn't mess up my environment because that was shameful. I wouldn't act stupid, say stupid things, or do anything stupid that would cause problems for the community because yes, that was shameful.
What fun to see shame as a theme for the Prickly City comic strip. Yes, I know shame is not a good thing when carried to extremes. I'd say seppuku would be waaay over the top for extremes.
Art just said I shouldn't call it shame. I should call it being responsible or accountable or considerate. Shame has a negative connotation these days.
Modern society has been really frowning on mentioning shame to children. However, if more people (and companies) would feel a little shame I'm thinking it wouldn't be such a bad idea.
I like what you said about not bringing shame to your family. I grew up, too, to honor your family through the way you conduct your life. What a beautiful way of life that seems to have lost much of it's meaning, today.
ReplyDeleteGreat header. You can feel the twinkle.
Manzanita
Wanna buy a duck
I vote we bring back the word 'shame.' We could use a little of it in our society.
ReplyDeleteMy full vote !Strange just yesterday i was discussing this with my husband that how this concept is slowly loosing its meaning in present society.
ReplyDeleteKay, mahalo for the wedelia! I appreciate your thoughtfulness.
ReplyDeleteI brought shame on my parents when I got pregnant out of wedlock. I could have taken the easy way out by having an abortion, but chose not to.
My daughter has brought nothing but pride and honor to her family.
The word shame does have negative connotations but the feeling is still strong in some cultures. Taking responsibility and being considerate are so much more positive.
ReplyDeleteI agree 100% Kay-bring back the word shame!
ReplyDeleteI say Justin Timberlake needs to record a song entitled "Bringing Shame Back."
ReplyDeletemaybe we call it guilt? but we sure need more responsible people in the world...especially the young ones.
ReplyDeleteYour post was so "spot on". I don't think many people today even know what shame is...I remember the feeling of shame when I did something that upset my parents.
ReplyDelete....and many of which should really be ashamed of their behaviors too.
ReplyDeleteI like Art's words for Shame.
ReplyDeleteI don't think shame and guilt are the same thing. Shame has to do with appearances, whereas guilt is more internalized. I might feel shame when people come to my house and there are dishes in the sink, but I would feel guilty about mistreating my kids, for instance. Shame is also about getting caught in bad behavior, whereas guilt feelings are not about the opinions of others.
ReplyDeleteI guess there is healthy shame, but it has to be self-generated. Shaming someone else doesn't work for me.
ReplyDeleteMy mother grew up in a house where the rule was don't embarrass the family. It was stressed far more than love. They were judgemental people and passed that on to my mother, who's greatest concern was "what will people think?" I have spent years overcoming judgementalism, and it is still strong in some of my siblings.
It seems like those who should feel shame don't anyway.
Interest for sure. I have to think about this. I am not a fan of public humiliation, yet a little bit of personal shame wouldn't hurt Paris, Lindsay, or Tiger to name a few.
ReplyDeleteOi, I just finished 25 hours of fasting. The prayers for Yom Kippur are all about the sins we have committed during the past year. At least the language is in the plural we.
ReplyDeleteMy blog has a label in the index for bushot, Hebrew for shame(s).