My daughter sent me an article from the UK newspaper, The Guardian. (Here's the link.) It seems a 5 year old boy wanted to go to a classmate's birthday party held at the Plymouth Ski Slope and Snowboard Centre and then was unable to attend. They had not informed his classmate's parents of the conflict in schedule which would prevent him from attending as he said he would. Apparently they lost the invitation or something like that.
The boy's parents then found an invoice in his backpack later from the birthday child's mother for 15.95 pounds which is about $24 US and threatened with legal action if they didn't pay.
All their names are printed in The Guardian.
Good grief! I would be mortified.
Most people commenting on the story felt the birthday child's mother was being pretty ridiculous.
It is. I know that. BUT, isn't it irritating when people say they'll come to a party and then not show up without informing you?
Weddings are the worst, I think. Often times, the receptions are close to $100 a person and it's painful when people don't show up. There are also times when invited guests show up with more people than were invited.
But a 5 year old's birthday party? Legal action? Wouldn't you call this a frivolous law suit? Small claims court? I would almost venture to say this child will be hard pressed to find children willing to attend his parties from now on. We always had our children's birthday parties at our house with games, lunch, cake and ice cream. $24 a child for a birthday party is pretty darn steep. What kind of birthday parties did you have for your children?
All their names are printed in The Guardian.
Good grief! I would be mortified.
Most people commenting on the story felt the birthday child's mother was being pretty ridiculous.
It is. I know that. BUT, isn't it irritating when people say they'll come to a party and then not show up without informing you?
Weddings are the worst, I think. Often times, the receptions are close to $100 a person and it's painful when people don't show up. There are also times when invited guests show up with more people than were invited.
But a 5 year old's birthday party? Legal action? Wouldn't you call this a frivolous law suit? Small claims court? I would almost venture to say this child will be hard pressed to find children willing to attend his parties from now on. We always had our children's birthday parties at our house with games, lunch, cake and ice cream. $24 a child for a birthday party is pretty darn steep. What kind of birthday parties did you have for your children?
I think it really IS strange for a parent to sue another for the child's not coming to the party. If you have such fancy parties for a kid's fifth birthday, you must have a fair amount of money. Seems there's something else going on here, too. I think a kid enjoys a small party with cake and ice cream and his friends MUCH more than a big "do" like this. My two cents. :-)
ReplyDeleteI agree! $24 a child is pretty darn steep for a birthday party.
DeleteWe once hired an adventure trail hall for my sons to have a joint party. All of the friends for one son turned up, none for the other. We later found out that he'd forgotten to hand out the invitations! Themed birthday parties, or parties at venues are becoming increasingly popular in the UK, it seems that people do it to avoid having to put effort into making a good party at home. Or perhaps there's a 'keeping up with the Jones' mentality. I think the situation has been escalated by the media (of course) who have seen a good story, though presumably the parents who were being charged were the ones who went to the newspapers. Pretty silly, and I imagine that with hindsight they're beginning to think they were a bit daft. Personally, I always enjoyed organising parties for my two boys and with that one exception (which came two days after we moved house so I think I can be excused!) always held them at home.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing that this story is pretty much going viral. I still say nobody looks good.
DeleteThat's so sad.
ReplyDeleteBig grand birthday parties for children, as young as one year old, are very popular here. Sort of like the weddings that have to go "all out." No one seems to do as you and I did for our kids' b'day parties--cake and ice cream at our house with a few games and lots of balloons. 90 minutes and then everyone goes home, thank you very much. Just as no one gets married in a church with cake and punch in the social hall afterwards. It's getting ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteI agree that sending an invoice was an extreme response, but I bet the inconsiderate parents learned a good lesson . . . and maybe that was the intended goal.
ReplyDeleteThis is absurd - definitely a frivolous lawsuit indeed, Kay!
ReplyDeleteStupid. It's all about the parents.
ReplyDeleteI cannot every remember having a guest billed for any birthday party, unless it was adults attending a restaurant dinner with us. Parents should have been well-informed that they had to pay whether they attended or not!
ReplyDeleteThe last birthday party I had before my Mom passed from this earth was in a park with 2 classes invited cause I was in a split class at a catholic school, it was a hoot, I got gloves for baseball and hula hoops and popbeads from the girls..Two big cakes which were yummee, chocolate and the other lemon, wow whee must have been 50 kids there! My parents did not have any money, my grandmother footed the cake bill and my uncles the other stuff pop, punch, cookies and we had tons of games before the Happy Birthday singing, everyone still tells me they remember my birthday party..For our only child we always invited the whole class our only thought it terrible to leave out anyone, we held it at our tiny house the kids played outside until inside for goodies, always a baked cake and little bags of treats for everyone, she really enjoyed herself..I think people are foolish in giving their kids everything there is nothing to look forward to anymore, lavish weddings and honeymoons, we got married in tiny ceremony my hubs hates crowds and it was paid for by the US Army on an Air Force base in Las Vegas, it was hotter than a pepper plant, our honeymoon was driving to Denver to live..I think people are nuts to sue someone about not attending a birthday party..
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment! Could you just give me a name though when you leave a comment? I just like knowing who might be commenting. You can even make up a commenting name. As a retired teacher I can tell you that I loved it when parents would include all the children at the parties so no one was left out.
DeleteI am mary from the pacific northwest, it is raining all the time in November the month of our only's birthday right after Halloween but we still had a party and I baked a big cake everyone invited to her party and one time it was kind of like a Halloween theme, she wanted it that way..I enjoy your blog, wish I could live in Hawaii, it is lovely there and so relaxing!
ReplyDeleteMary, I'm envious of your living in the Pacific Northwest. It's so beautiful there. Thank you so much for writing.
DeleteI saw that story on TV---and I'll admit that I do have mixed feelings... I'm not sure it's smart to take the problem to THIS level --but I do think that all people need to think about this and do a better job of teaching and living their commitments... When things come up and plans have to be changed and cannot be helped, then contact NEEDS to be made concerning that commitment they agreed to, with explanation and offering to do what is needed to remedy the situation. BUT--so many times these days, people will accept all kinds of invitations --and then just choose the 'best' one in their minds instead of honoring the commitment they agreed to... It's terrible that children are not being taught this by their parents these days... BUT--I do know that sometimes things happen and commitments have to be broken... BUT--please contact the people who sent the invitation and work it out....
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Betsy
I agree! I don't think anybody looks blameless or good.
DeleteJust an unreal situation!
ReplyDeleteNow if 100 kids didn't show up it might be cause for being upset but one child and $24.00 seems really extreme. If you can't be adult, just don't invite him next time.
ReplyDeleteMaybe others didn't show up but paid the extortion demand in their children's backpacks and only this kid's parents wouldn't .
DeleteUnreal. I can't believe how ungracious people are becoming these days. I think the people who hosted the party are very ungracious hosts. I'd hate to go to anything at their house because I think I'd feel that their graciousness was contrived. The parents of the absent boy were not responsible and should have let the hosts know they wouldn't attend, but circumstances may not allowed them to do so. Also, I think so many parties are getting out of hand these days. They put a burden on the families of those invited. I think they even can be overwhelming for the child for whom the party is held. What's wrong with just having friends over for a few games or activities and cake and ice cream?
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you. And you should see what 1st birthday parties are like in Hawaii. They're like mini weddings. Amazing! Fun, but amazing!
DeleteI saw this too. I know we probably don't know all the circumstances but at first glance it all seems very juvenile and rather silly. The parents whose child didn't turn up, it would have been polite for them to let the other parents know their child couldn't attend but it might also have been just a simple oversight. It happens! I never organized anything on a large scale though. My son's birthdays were always fun with a few of his close friends invited. There might have been a special movie shown but I always contacted the mums to make sure they were okay with the movie chosen. I also organized simple games. Star Wars was all the rage and I remember getting a huge piece of black construction cardboard and making a Darth Vader's helmet, cutting a mouth out and making simple bean bags to throw through the mouth, with equally simple prizes but everyone had a prize and no one was left out. I also remember making a cake in the shape of Boba Fett which was also a big hit with the kids. That is about as elaborate as it got but the kids and very importantly the birthday boy always seemed a lot of fun and no one left without having a good time. Now I've seen bouncy castles in people's back yards and things seem to be getting more and more expensive. It is hard to top bouncy castles.
ReplyDeleteMy son would have LOVED a Star Wars party. I was never good at baking those great cakes. I had to laugh because our neighbor just had a birthday party with a bouncy castle.
DeleteAbsolutely ridiculous, I'd say. But I understand that when you are getting back notes from guests about being on the wedding that you should count on a much lesser percentage than the actual. I'd be afraid I'd run out of food, but really there is always plenty. People are often thoughtless, but we are also forgetful, especially if we aren't in the family. Whatever the reason, for a 5 year old, too much fuss.
ReplyDeleteThen again I was at a funeral here in Hawaii and they did run out of food. The custom here is for dinner to be provided for all the attendees. The problem is it's hard to judge how many people will show up or how much they'll eat. Anyway, this isn't the same thing, but I'm saying it's not always easy to judge how much food will be enough.
DeleteInterestingly Art has more of a problem with the parents of the boy who did not attend. He feels they should have found a way to notify the birthday boy's parents, especially since it was a more expensive venue. He also feels they didn't need to go to the newspaper to humiliate the birthday boy's parents. I guess what it boils down to is that nobody looks good. Everybody looks bad.
Wow, it is an interesting but not nice
ReplyDeleteI never had a big fancy birthday party for a child. We had cake, ice cream and invited friends. I don't remember anyone not showing up. Both sets of parents are nuts in this case!
ReplyDeletei saw this on the news this morning! some people, eh?
ReplyDeleteRidiculous. What 5 year old needs a party at $25 a guest. My twin grandsons will turn 6 next month with a homemade cake and friends and family at their house and they will love it. If someone can't make it at the last minute the extra food will be great the next day!
ReplyDeleteThe cost was probably to cover the skiing or snowboarding or whatever.
DeleteThis reaction is over the top. It is irritating when somebody does not have the decency to inform you that they are not attending. Birthday parties in the 70's were pretty low key.
ReplyDeleteBirthdays--favorite meal and favorite cake with ice cream, gifts from mom and dad and the grand parents.
ReplyDeleteYes, that is ridiculous. We just did quiet things like take them out to eat. That's what my mother did for me. Kinda sparse.
ReplyDeleteI have heard of small claims court, but not pointless claims court.
ReplyDeleteIt seems we live in an era where everything gets over done - children's birthday parties and weddings especially. Everything money can buy, but very little actual hands on, personal, love filled attention.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, manners have diminished. RSVP means nothing to many people. Maybe these folks deserve each other.
I'm with you, Kay
ReplyDelete1
If the child had attended the party but only brought a gift worth $10.00 would they have sued for the the remaining $14.40 value of the gift compared to their cost per child? We might laugh but maybe they would.
ReplyDeleteLawsuits are becoming a way of life in some culture. I wonder will any court actually accept this kind of lawsuit.
ReplyDelete