My cousin, Walt is a brilliant, talented person in a number of fields. He also has precision wit and piercing insight that sometimes eludes me until moments later. I share lemons with him which is easy for us because it doesn't require a ton of talent. He shares gourmet coffee with us that he roasts from beans he collects from around the world.
I emailed him recently about how busy I'd been lately and how my daughter laughed and said, "You're retired, mom. You're just making yourself busy." I was so impressed with what he emailed back to me that I had to share it with you. His mom was my mom's sister, Auntie Grace who we are all missing since she passed away last year.
This is what Walt wrote:
I wonder what she's cooking tonight.
This is what Walt wrote:
Walt's letter struck me because that busy-ness I realize is what perhaps can help you feel alive. When we tried to take over a lot of chores for mom when we moved to Hawaii, she was very upset. She said it was necessary for her to do all she does. We conceded and let her have her way. It does have its benefits."Be as busy as you want! Honestly, life wouldn't be fun without challenges. We see them as tedious only when they become mundane and rote. But I wouldn't call making a cup of coffee mundane, even though I have to do it every morning; but its all in how you look at it. Blake said it best; "to see a world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wildflower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour." when we have no more challenges to overcome, then by definition that's either failure or death. There are plenty of challenges in front of you, cousin!I really really miss my mom too. I find myself thinking of her often, and missing her little mannerisms and observations. She had the most cutting vision; and by that I don't mean her eyesight, it was her perspective on life and what she could see in those around her that was significant. A very wise woman. Her garden, and the things she loved; they weren't challenges to her, she surrounded herself with them, and wove them into her life and was grateful for all the growing, good things that made her happy."
I wonder what she's cooking tonight.
I think it would be wonderful to have someone cook for me. That's a real treat!
ReplyDeleteBusy hands, busy minds - we would dry up and disintegrate without them.
ReplyDeletePeople laugh at retired folks who say there aren't enough hours in the day. It is a different kind of busy though. I like to call it living. And your mom is certainly a testament to the value of keeping busy.
ReplyDeleteI remember, as a child, that many "old" people (like me now at 82) sat around and enjoyed my coming by and sitting on their porch with them. They loved to tell me stories about their youth and how they did things back then. I was really interested to learn these tales but my children don't seem interested because they are always too busy to listen.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful!
ReplyDeleteHow wise, your cousin, your aunt, mom, and you.
ReplyDeletewise words for people of all ages...
ReplyDeleteOne thing I enjoy about retirement is the ability to choose what I want to be busy doing. As Olga commented above, that's really living.
ReplyDeleteWithout our busyness, life would end. I cannot imagine a life without swimming or quilting or even reading as these are as much a part of me as breathing. She will cook something wonderful, and you will truly enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteI keep wanting to hire housekeeping help, but then realize I need the exercise!!
ReplyDeleteAmazing insight. I like that.
ReplyDeleteGood thoughts. We all need to feel useful, even if it's just being useful to ourselves.
ReplyDeleteWaaaaaah . . . Walt, you made me cry . . .
ReplyDeleteWhat may seem mundane to some gives others purpose. So glad your Mom still wants to do her "chores". Lucky you that cooking is one of them.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's necessary to keep busy. Every day, I sit on the sofa, listen to classical music, and meditate. I enjoy peace and serenity.
ReplyDeleteyour cousin is a wise man and knows the priorities of life
ReplyDeleteThis is such a beautiful post, filled with wisdom, and then your kicker statement wondering about what your mom will be cooking.
ReplyDeleteLife is good. Yes.
I think in life before retirement the majority was had to, not much choice. We had to work cuz we had to have a home, car, and support ourselves and family. We had to do this or that becuz work/boss told us to do it. We had to, esp. here in Hawaii, wake up early to get to our jobs cuz of the awful traffic. Then we had to cook, study, work some more, etc. It's not to say we didn't have fun or our pleasures...but now in constrast, retirement is MOSTLY what WE want to do. Some have to do, but mostly cuz we want to. My friend's husband loved to work but when he retired he is now watching all the grandbabies except for the one golf day he must have. Luckily like Jalna's husband, my friend's husband loves to cook and did so nightly. So he/they are pretty busy, but I think they're loving every minute. And we all chose differently, me I'm a slacker, a lazy messy person. And I embrace it. I dislike driving and going out but have to out of necessity, otherwise I just prefer to cruise at home watching t.v. and doing the internet. Then taking care of all my different pets. That's what retirement is for me, just for once in my life, not rushing here and there and having to do stuff. Now I just do what I want, when I want. I paid my dues, I'm reaping my reward. Again, this is my chosen lifestyle...others are more 'gasa gasa' and that's their choice. But we earned it. -BB
ReplyDeleteYou're right. Each to his own and the nice thing is that we can now choose.
DeleteI embrace slacking and dislike driving and going out too! So true that we earned the right to do what we want, and to not do what we don't want.
DeleteHere's to watching all the Korean dramas that we want, and if the house is a mess, so what!
I was just today thinking about all I need to do to get ready to travel to Vashon Island on Wednesday. It seemed a little daunting, but really, it's all fun. I like being busy. :-)
ReplyDeleteHow inspiring! Thanks Kay for sharing these words of wisdom from your cousin. It definitely gives me something to think about.
ReplyDeleteMany seniors say over and over that keeping busy is what keeps them going. We only have to look at those who are not busy to see how bad it is.
ReplyDeleteI am firmly in the camp that adores your Mom! So happy that you appreciate her and her wisdom. x
ReplyDeleteI love this wise post so full of wisdom!
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderfully wise and thoughtful man! And he roasts his own coffee, too??? !!
ReplyDeleteRelax: never, if it's not in your nature!
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful letter your cousin wrote. Thank you for sharing it.
ReplyDeletewinnie
So nice. Thanks for sharing this, Kay.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm.
ReplyDelete