Many years ago, my very long time friend, Diane and I made a pact not to exchange holiday gifts. I think she came up with the idea first. I remember being a (very) tiny bit ambivalent about it for the first five minutes, but then grew to love the idea. December is such a stressful month and I really don't enjoy shopping. I'm not one of those people who's good at finding the right gift. It's true. My daughter will remember little things about everybody that enable her to know what we would like. My memory is negligible.
Therefore once our children were grown it really was a wonderful thing for Diane and I to have this agreement. This doesn't mean we don't share things with each other. Diane bakes holiday cookies that are so amazing, it makes my mouth water to think about it. Everybody LOVES them. She gave me the recipe a long time ago, and I tried making it twice, but it really wasn't like hers. We then share some food item from our family to hers as well. It's perfect and it's more than enough.
My Zumba group made the decision this year to not bring favors (little gifts) for everyone to our Christmas Party. We decided instead to spend time getting things to donate to the homeless. We shared only fellowship, laughter, conversation and friendship at the party. It was more than enough.
Our children, their spouses and us share a little gift lottery where we have a different person to buy for each year instead of buying something for everybody. (Except mom and grandkids. They get something from everybody.) We then send each other our wish lists and suggest things we would love but wouldn't buy for ourselves. This isn't for everybody, but for us it makes our holidays less stressful and even happier...and it's more than enough.
My Zumba group made the decision this year to not bring favors (little gifts) for everyone to our Christmas Party. We decided instead to spend time getting things to donate to the homeless. We shared only fellowship, laughter, conversation and friendship at the party. It was more than enough.
Our children, their spouses and us share a little gift lottery where we have a different person to buy for each year instead of buying something for everybody. (Except mom and grandkids. They get something from everybody.) We then send each other our wish lists and suggest things we would love but wouldn't buy for ourselves. This isn't for everybody, but for us it makes our holidays less stressful and even happier...and it's more than enough.
That sounds wonderful! I always spend way more then I can afford to but actually I can't imagine Christmas without gift shopping.
ReplyDeleteI love getting gifts for people but I don't especially care for the "obligation" aspect that has kept into the Christmas season. I do like the idea of a gift lottery for a large family get together.
ReplyDeleteI laughed when I read that it's your husband who likes to travel and "drags you around with him." That was the story o my like too. I'm such a stay-at-home person. But I went too.
ReplyDeleteIt's been a long time since I posted and I've a new blog with my real name. It feels more comfortable.
You have good ideas all around for Christmas. Too much "stuff" at Christmas and I've just spent the past 3 years
making my "load" lighter. Ha..... My new rule.... if I bring something into the house, I have to toss out something of equivalence.
I like that gift lottery idea. My daughter's in laws do that. My son in law comes from a family of 5 kids so it makes it more economical for everyone. I wish we could do that with my husband's family. We have an agreement with one of his brothers and his wife not to exchange gifts but another brother in law is single and always buys way too much stuff, much of it not really something needed. I've raised the idea before but with no success to limit the gift giving.
ReplyDeleteIt was really hard for me, but when I divorced, I made a pact to stop trying to keep up with the Jones, i.e., my now in-laws trait of completely overspending at Xmas. (god love them though.) I set a cap at $50 for adults, $100 for grandkids, and come hell or high water I've stuck to it. It may not be true 'minimalism', and they might think me cheap or lazy, but spending $200 plus per person, when you aren't wealthy, is just ridiculous (to me.)
ReplyDeleteWonderful tree too. My friend Bobbie and I still exchange gifts, but she gives me her used things, and I find her gifts at the thrift shop. LOL
ReplyDeleteChristmas gift giving is always a challenge. Families have all kinds of arrangements for gift giving. We used the draw for A FEW YEARS.
ReplyDeleteGreat idea, to give things to those who are less fortunate. Because by and large, the older we get, the lesser our "needs" and "wants" become.
ReplyDeleteSo I'm gonna be a grinch about all this gift buying/giving. I find it silly that folks will go into debt, i.e. charge cards, to buy gifts for other ppl who will do the same for them, and how often is the gift really what they need or want. To me, it's an exchange and most try to give the equivalent of what they get. It's just shopping for ppl with no idea what they need or want. Most will be returned, to me it just makes no sense. It's just a waste of time, money and gas. This is excluding charitable giving and kids of course. Kids should get a lot of presents! Luckily I don't have anyone I HAVE to exchange with. I DO give out money to my yard guy and my mailman cuz they really deserve it and with that cash can buy dinner or lunch at least. I also have one dear dear friend but I buy her small presents throughout the year. Christmas is just one of those times...but what I do get, she treasures. Just as I treasure hers, but it's not expected that she gift me back either. For me, it is the pure joy of giving and seeing how happy it makes her. It's also a really cool surprise and a way to brighten their day. I've always done this for that one special best friend I've had in my life....I'm not limited by a special event, but cuz I saw something I could afford and know that they would love it. Of course if they don't, they can return/exchange I have no ego in it. To me, that's how giving should be and not cuz it's mandated and required. I do however honor special days like birthdays and Mother's Day, etc. I prefer my way, but then I don't have a whole tribe of relatives either. BB
ReplyDeleteI stopped giving a long time ago. It was a little difficult in the beginning because some people just HAD to give - and they truly were gifts that represented "it's the thought that counts" because they were really unwanted things and almost immediately went into the donate pile. After years of us not giving and asking them not to give gifts, they finally stopped, thank goodness!
ReplyDeleteNowadays, when I shop, I can buy what I want for myself. For the kids, a gift of money for them to spend is welcome since their taste is so different from mine. No grandkids yet, so I am off the hook for now.
Love the lottery idea. My family has made Christmas for small children only. Once a child becomes an adult, he or she is off the list.
ReplyDeleteKay I totally agree with you
ReplyDeletewonderful suggestions here, make a lot of sense.
ReplyDeletesounds like a solution. we send our kids money and they buy their own gifts...simplifies things for all of us!
ReplyDeleteWe do a similar thing for all the adults. I think we are going to do a trivia contest for the gift selection of who gets what in the pool we all contribute to
ReplyDeleteLess stress, that is the way to go! :-)
ReplyDeleteI buy gifts for children only. We don't exchange gifts at home any more, but I did buy myself a really nice set of Bose headphones. Just exactly what I wanted! :-)
ReplyDeleteOh come on! Women are always giving gifts. You folk can't even visit for tea without giving gifts. hahaha
ReplyDeleteSeriously, it's good to cut down. We don't exchange actual gifts with our daughter anymore, just her kids. What we do do (dodoo?) is buy each other stocking stuffers with a limit on price and number of items.
So wise to do this.......
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