Hunh?

On Friday, in the emergency room, a corpsman asked if I wanted a pain killer because the broken 5th metatarsal was bound to hurt me later. I said I'd take it later if I needed it. "OK, sounds good," he said.

10 minutes later another corpsman comes with a pill and says I need to take the Vicodin. "But I said I'd take it later," I informed him.

"Nope, you need to take it," he says with friendly concern.

So I take it.

Another corpsman starts wetting plaster and wraps it around my foot. He finally gets it all set and the Physician's Assistant (who I thought was the doctor) says, "No, you have to form the splint AROUND the toes. It needs to all be covered."

Muttering to himself, "Would be nice if they would make up their minds," the corpsman gets more plaster to rework the splint around my toes.

"You need to keep your foot elevated and iced for the next two days," the P.A. says and hands me the instructions. I just read those instructions yesterday. It says:

Apply ice intermittently (15-20 minutes at a time 4-6 times daily) today,for days as needed. Elevate affected areas above chest level as needed and until released. No weight bearing for one weeks.
Follow-Up: Return to the emergency department if not better. Follow up with an orthopedic surgeon Thursday in six days as scheduled. They said I should just walk in and sit down after 1:30 PM on Thursday because ER patients are first come, first served.

Hunh? They released me at 10:00 at night and I was going right to bed. Does he mean I should ice it 4-6 times in the 2 hours left to the day? Elevate my foot as needed until released? How do I know how long I need it since it doesn't hurt. (Unless I hit it.) Hunh? One weeks? Hunh?

I just got a call from Tripler Hospital saying I should come in this afternoon or tomorrow morning.

"But, but..." I stammer, "They told me in the emergency room that I should show up on Thursday after 1:30 on a walk-in, first come, first served basis at Ortho."

"No such thing," he replies and then talks to somebody else...maybe a superior? "Do you have a cast on?"

"No, It's a splint. A hard splint."

"Nope," he reiterates, "You need to come in this afternoon or 8:30 tomorrow morning. We don't do walk-ins."

Hunh?

Arrrghhhh!

OK... maybe I won't sign up for line dancing until I know for sure and I've seen an actual orthopedic surgeon.

I'm elevating my foot today and maybe I'll ice it some more since I don't exactly know for sure what I should be doing.

The last line on my discharge paper says: Understanding of the discharge instructions verbalized by patient.
I must have lied.