This year, my aunt called and said they would like to stop exchanging gifts. A friend had earlier asked the same thing this year.
On first hearing this you might think that we were hurt thinking they didn't like the gifts we chose in holidays past. And yet that wasn't what I thought at all. My first reaction was a little sadness quickly followed by a sense of relief.
When we were younger we used to send tons of gifts every Christmas and loved doing so. It was then fun to see the bottom of the tree stacked high with terrific gifts for us and the kids. The anticipation was heady.
Nowadays, with no kids in the house and having pretty much what we need, it's a different sort of feeling. There's only so many holiday sweets that we can eat. When we receive something we don't need, it sits in the closet and we're left with the feeling that it's such a shame we don't have a need for it. Eventually it gets donated unless we find a home for it.
What we've done with our kids and their significant others is to have a "Not So Secret Santa" where we take turns buying for just one person. Well... except for my granddaughter who gets something from everybody. We then give each other our Wish Lists so we're sure to get what we really want. Granted we do throw in a few surprise gifts, but on the whole you get what you really want. Our Wish Lists contain things we might not ordinarily buy for ourselves, but would love to have as a gift.
It's worked for us.
This year, for the first time, aside from the neighbors, we have almost no gift giving stress. It's pretty much all in the wish lists and we can even order most of those on line. Woo hoo!
Yes, yes... I know its rather Grinchy, but it's sort of freeing too. Now we can just enjoy the season with a family get-together and have some of those special holiday cookies that my friend never fails to share with us. Thank goodness, she's not stopping that!
I have pretty much forgotten what ideas I put on my wish list and can't wait to find out what my "Secret Santa" got me.
Tomorrow we'll be working on our charity donations that we've researched. We've also done the Angel Tree. It's a good feeling. This coming week, we've got a Zumba holiday party and a Tai Chi holiday party and a Christmas Craft Fair to attend.
It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas... or Hanukkah... or just the holidays.
To our dear Jewish friends, we wish you peace and happiness during your Hanukkah celebrations.
On first hearing this you might think that we were hurt thinking they didn't like the gifts we chose in holidays past. And yet that wasn't what I thought at all. My first reaction was a little sadness quickly followed by a sense of relief.
Nowadays, with no kids in the house and having pretty much what we need, it's a different sort of feeling. There's only so many holiday sweets that we can eat. When we receive something we don't need, it sits in the closet and we're left with the feeling that it's such a shame we don't have a need for it. Eventually it gets donated unless we find a home for it.
What we've done with our kids and their significant others is to have a "Not So Secret Santa" where we take turns buying for just one person. Well... except for my granddaughter who gets something from everybody. We then give each other our Wish Lists so we're sure to get what we really want. Granted we do throw in a few surprise gifts, but on the whole you get what you really want. Our Wish Lists contain things we might not ordinarily buy for ourselves, but would love to have as a gift.
It's worked for us.
This year, for the first time, aside from the neighbors, we have almost no gift giving stress. It's pretty much all in the wish lists and we can even order most of those on line. Woo hoo!
Yes, yes... I know its rather Grinchy, but it's sort of freeing too. Now we can just enjoy the season with a family get-together and have some of those special holiday cookies that my friend never fails to share with us. Thank goodness, she's not stopping that!
I have pretty much forgotten what ideas I put on my wish list and can't wait to find out what my "Secret Santa" got me.
Tomorrow we'll be working on our charity donations that we've researched. We've also done the Angel Tree. It's a good feeling. This coming week, we've got a Zumba holiday party and a Tai Chi holiday party and a Christmas Craft Fair to attend.
It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas... or Hanukkah... or just the holidays.
To our dear Jewish friends, we wish you peace and happiness during your Hanukkah celebrations.
My sister in law has asked several times to stop the gifting but no one has paid attention to her. She hosts all the gatherings too!
ReplyDeleteKay, I do so much agree with your decision. After spending a summer tossing out and getting rid of three houses worth of "stuff." I feel free right now and I never want another thing. Just about everyone I know feels the same. The only ones still collecting are the really young ones. You are doing the right thing by giving to the needy (the real needy.)
ReplyDeleteA homeless man plays a Native Am. flute in a small strip-mall by the health food store. I always give him a couple bucks. He may buy a bottle with it and he may not. The other day when I handed him money, his fingers were freezing cold. I commented and he said he had no gloves. I suggested fingerless gloves so he could play and went to my car. I got in and said to myself, "Dummy, buy him some gloves." I ran in a sports shop and got him a pair of the fingerless gloves with a mitten flap for hunters. I gave them to him and he put them on immediately and said, "bless you, lady." He said his name was Gregory and gave me a little hug. He looked so happy and it made me happy. I don't want anymore stuff and his happiness will sustain me a long time.
Oh my! This is so beautiful! How very wonderful. Making someone happy is the greatest gift of all for yourself.
DeleteIt's a good idea, Kay. Buying gifts for children is fun, and, when you're a child, giving gifts to parents is fun, too. When the fun goes out of it, that's the time to stop. We should all do what Manzanita said in her comment, buy for someone who really needs something.
ReplyDeleteK
as an adult it does become hard to get a gift for everybody.
ReplyDeleteI give to my sisters and their families every Christmas whether or not they give things to me and my family. It's not a duty; it's a gift. Last year, it was money. This year, it's souvenirs from India.
ReplyDeleteIn our house, between three adults, we hang our stockings by the chimeny with care and then spent the run up putting in notions we know each other used. Lotion, soap, toothpaste. The gifts for grandchildren do go under the tree.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a fun idea.
DeleteThanks for your holiday wishes, Kay. We just lit the second candle of Chanuka. Actually my nun friends were here for dinner and THEY lit the candles.
ReplyDeleteOH I LOVE it, Dina. That's how it should be.
DeleteHappy Hanukkah and/or Christmas to all! We simply buy things for kids in our sphere and buy ourselves things we would like to have, whatever they might be. I don't have any friends or family who expect gifts and I'm a lot like you, Kay: I need nothing else! It's very freeing and not at all Grinch-like. :-)
ReplyDeleteunclear on the neighbor thing, or perhaps didn't read it right. Is it a neighborhood tradition?
ReplyDelete"aside from the neighbors, we have almost no gift giving stress."
The neighbors here are very generous and thoughtful. There's 2 or 3 families that always bring something for us at the holidays.
DeleteBuying gifts is a huge thing at my parents side but it is a good thing that in Assam( my present state) it is not a big deal.
ReplyDeleteThanks! Sounds like a sensible holiday season at your place!
ReplyDeleteWishing YOU
an Aloha-filled week, from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral
~ > < } } ( ° >
> < 3 3 3 ( ' >
We agreed with Christopher's brother and sister some years ago to give virtual charity gifts instead, usually something from Oxfam, a goat or sheep for a needy family somewhere in the world. We still give presents to the younger generation, but are debating what age would be a good cut off point to go over to giving to charity instead. Friends and neighbours have never swapped gifts, so that's an easy one. But I still can't think of anything to give DH this year.
ReplyDeleteWe quit buying for all but the kiddos, parents and each other several years ago. For each other we hardly do that either as we spend so much on ourselves throughout the year, i.e. the house! Now the nieces and nephews are getting so big, married and all that they may have to move to the no-giving-gift ranks.
ReplyDeleteOur gift list has been pared down to immediate family too. We all publish wish lists, and there are secret communications going on as to who takes what. We do all buy for each other, and I am still pretty extravagant in my Christmas spending. But like you, most of my shopping is done on line, even though I live about two miles from a huge shopping center and all of the big box stores you could ever want. I really don't like mall shopping.
ReplyDeleteI am just finishing up my one hand made gift - an outfit for Irene and a matching one for her American Girl doll.
With the kids back here in Seattle, the mound of gifts under our tree is huge. So I am remembering to give to charities too.