I was just remembering a time when I started crying with no warning. I'm still dumbfounded by that moment. Most people know I rarely cry at funerals or weddings or any ceremony. I'm very moved and feel the happiness or sorrow, but I just don't cry. I think that's my mother's influence because she expected composure and self-control from myself and my brother when in public.
I know there are stories of mothers who cry at their daughters' weddings. It never ever occurred to me that I could possibly be one of those women.
I was at the wedding rehearsal and saw Tiffany come down the aisle on Art's arm. No problem. I thought it was sweet to see father and daughter although I like the idea now where both parents walk their daughter down the aisle. (I'm just saying....)
But then came the wedding day. No problem. I was happy to see friends there. My brother and our photographer friend, Dave flew to Illinois from Hawaii to take the photos. Our son returned for a week or so from Mali where he was serving with the Peace Corps to stand as a groomsman. I was happy, very happy.
But then... that moment.
Tiffany told me later that she saw my face and had to immediately turn away so she wouldn't succumb to my emotion. Teacher friends turned to see my reaction and realized I didn't have a single tissue on hand. They immediately rescued me by sending up their tissues. What lifesavers!!!
And so... today... nearly 20 years later, I'm thinking about that and still surprised by my sudden loss of control. Someday when my granddaughter, KC gets married, you can bet I'll be prepared. I'll bring tissues for Tiffany too.
I remember when my first daughter went away to uni. I hugged her and was suddenly blubbering. I hadn't expected that.
ReplyDeleteI never cry at weddings or funerals either. It sort of bothers me that I don't cry at funerals, but it is what it is. As far as weddings, I've always hated big weddings ever since I was a candle-lighter in a cousin's wedding. I don't feel badly about not crying at weddings.
ReplyDeleteI can cry at the drop of a hat. Commercials, hymns at church, speeches and poems (the latter two on Wednesday), telling granddaughter about the significance of Kamala Harris being Vice President, movies. I could go on and on.
ReplyDeleteI cried like a badly leaking faucet at my wedding so I know when it is the turn of my daughters, I will come well prepared. I also have badly watering eyes at movies too but fortunately I can usually disguise those by the time the lights come back on.
ReplyDeleteNoticed the smile on the face of the woman before you. While I do cry at weddings, I also smile when I see the mother or father of the bride cry for it is so endearing and comes from a good place.
ReplyDeleteSo touching, what a moving post Kay, I totally understand.
ReplyDeleteHow beautiful. I might cry too. Usually I don't usually cry in public but occasionally I do and then it's a flood. There's a lot of emotion packed behind seeing a child embarking on a big life change. Hugs.
ReplyDeletewhat a perfect moment captured ......
ReplyDeleteemotions help us celebrate the specialness of an occasion. Funerals are where I don't cry usually...
ReplyDeleteThose are happy tears after all that hard work raising the child! My daughter-in-law started crying a bit at her own wedding during the vows. Thank goodness I'd told my son to have a cloth white handkerchief ready; we have a photo of that. I cried laughing happy tears after a move to a new place because I finally found my "Frogger" game CD...my son thought that was hilarious. Cheers, Linda in Kansas
ReplyDeleteI cry at unexpected moments, so I'm also not prepared. And I'm NOT a pretty crier at all! What lovely memories!!
ReplyDeleteI cry easily, so it was not unexpected that I cried so often watching Wednesday's swearing in. Amanda, the poet, really took me over the edge, though. Brilliant artist! :-)
ReplyDeleteI admit that I'm a sniffler. I even did a blog post on it.
ReplyDeleteI too cry at the drop of a hat. There was a girl walking down the aisle at the rehearsal. Later, there was a stunning woman on Art's arm.
ReplyDeleteI am like you, Kay. I feel the emotions at moving events but I don't cry. I stifle my tears and heartbreak. Probably not very good for the health, but it is who I am. That sense of shame that we were brought up with. Has your mom cried, that you know of?
ReplyDeleteOh gosh! You’re right. I’ve NEVER seen her cry. She probably did when her sister died, but it would have been done in private. It’s how we were raised, isn’t it?
Delete“Gaman shinasai.”
DeleteSo very true. And worse for men - they are expected to never cry.
DeleteMy husband would never cry - he was taught that men (boys) don't cry. However, in Korean dramas, everybody cries and cries, wailing and pounding their chest. Tears would stream down the faces of strong men. I would turn to him and say that it is okay to cry.
Old habits and training are just too hard to break.
I wonder if it's that Japanese samurai thing. Composure is everything. I know we never taught our son to hold his emotions in check, but he may have just picked it up from Art.
Deletei never cry either and i do think it's how we were raised. when i was little and i cried, i was shamed for it.
ReplyDeleteThat was a beautiful moment captured on film. It was probably made even more memorable for you because you did cry.
ReplyDeleteKay, this sure was a sweet share! I really like that photo of Art & Tiffany too, I bet it's hard to believe 20 years have passed. I just wish we could've seen your face in that second photo :^)
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't take much to get me to tear up, which has led to some pretty embarrassing moments.
ReplyDeleteMost brides make me weepy.
ReplyDeleteI seldom cry. When I had Slinky put down the vet had me stay with him and pet him and tell him what a great dog he had been until the shot was inserted in his paw and he quietly lay down and died. I cried all the way home to Coffeyville. My son,Scott, who gave him to me called me while I was driving home and was amazed that I was crying so hard. I loved that old dog though. I cried when I had Missy, my old 16 year old cat, put down too. She had a growth in her throat that they could not take out because of her age so I had her put down too and cremated. The vet called me a few days later, and had me drop by his office. He had put Missy's ashes in a nice urn and gave it to me. It still sets here on an end table in my den.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh. I cry at the drop of a hat. I was a puddle at my daughter's wedding. i cried when my kids started school. I cry at movies. I even have cried over some TV commercials. I cry at funerals -- even when I didn't even know the person that well. How do you do it??
ReplyDeleteI cried from the memorial on Tuesday night through the inauguration. Happy tears, but ready to well up still.
I cry at everything and my family is used to that! Happy or sad, the tears flow. Knowing that, I come prepared though and it sounds like you will now, too. Just don’t forget by your granddaughter’s wedding!
ReplyDeleteNice piece. I think even for us non-criers, there are moments that touch the well of emotion and bring it all out, sometimes much to our surprise.
ReplyDeleteA couple of days after our son left to be in the Air Force, I was at Walgreens. The check out guy walked over to check my items, and I looked up at him and noticed that his eyebrows, eyes and hair looked so much like our son's, that I stated crying. Luckily the tears hadn't started going down my cheeks before I left, the tears really started flowing as I walked away.They were streaming down my face and I was starting what people call an ugly cry. It suddenly hit me hard that I wouldn't be seeing my son in a long time. I didn't shed one tear when I hugged my son before he left, I didn't want him to see me crying. But I sure made up for that as I was leaving Walgreens.
ReplyDeleteYes, yes! Ugly cry. That's what I had too. Isn't it the weirdest thing? It just shows our brain/emotions aren't something we can always control. My husband is also an Air Force guy. I hope your son returned safely with good experiences.
DeleteOur son has been in bout 17 years. I believe he is going to retire after 20 years. He loves to travel and has been all over the world and met many interesting people. He just recently bought a house in Florida where he will be living when he is in the United States.
DeleteWeddings can have that effect.
ReplyDeleteLife and emotions can be so amazing :)
ReplyDeleteAll the best Jan