Thursday, March 5, 2015

Shock, Disbelief and Sorrow

I've written and rewritten this post several times and just couldn't find the right words.  It's too painful.

We lost our Auntie Grace suddenly last week and her sons, family and friends are heartbroken.  My stoic mother crumbled in the emergency room.  As she stroked her sister's head she cried out plaintively, "What will I do?  She was like my left arm.  Where will I go to have fun? We were like twins." I didn't realize tears were pouring down my cheeks.

Auntie Grace lost her daughter, Charlotte several years ago and then lost her daughter, Joan this past December.  Yet despite all that, she would not burden everyone with her sorrow.  She wanted everyone to be happy.  When we traveled together to Japan, mom had a knee injury.  Auntie Grace insisted on being the one to take care of her.  "She is my sister.  This is my job," she said with a happy chuckle.

The last image I have is of her smiling, cheerful face, waving goodbye to us when we'd gone to wish her a happy birthday a few days before.

Mom hasn't been sleeping well since she lost her sister.  Neighbors and friends have been bringing her treats to raise her spirits and she is touched by everyone's caring.

When I was compiling their family history, Auntie Grace said that she'd died during the war when she contracted typhus.  She remembered rising above her body and then returning to it.  She reassured me that she's never been afraid of death since that time.

And you know what?  I can somehow feel that strong, always buoyant spirit of Auntie Grace still here.

I see her gentle smile and concern in her eyes for her older sister and all the people who loved her.  I hear her voice telling everyone to be happy and take care of each other.

I know everyone who loved her is in shock right now, but Auntie would expect us to help each other.

And we will.
Posted by at

41 comments:

  1. AnonymousMarch 5, 2015 at 3:23 AM

    My condolences to you and your family, especially to your mother.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMarch 5, 2015 at 3:39 AM

    oh I am so sorry to hear this, what a beautiful lady, the bond between the sisters is such a heart warming story, my condolences to your family,

    ReplyDelete
  3. jaz@octoberfarmMarch 5, 2015 at 3:45 AM

    oh kay...i am so very sorry to hear this. give your mom a big hug from me. it must be wonderful to have such a relationship with a sister.

    ReplyDelete
  4. CynthiaMarch 5, 2015 at 3:58 AM

    I'm so sorry for your family, and especially your mom, Kay. May your memories bring you comfort and peace.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Joanne NoragonMarch 5, 2015 at 4:17 AM

    This is so sad. Please tell Mom we cherish her and hope she turns to her beautiful memories for happiness.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Optimistic ExistentialistMarch 5, 2015 at 4:20 AM

    Kay I am so sorry to hear this. My deepest condolences. Your family will be ion my thoughts and prayers...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Linda KayMarch 5, 2015 at 4:28 AM

    Such a sweet tribute to Auntie Grace, Kay. I'm so sorry for your mom as well, as losing a close sibling is hard. You have such great memories of your aunt, some of which you have mentioned here before. God bless.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sally WesselyMarch 5, 2015 at 4:42 AM

    My heart just sank for your mom and for you too. This is a beautiful tribute to your dear Auntie Grace. Please give your mom and all of your family my heartfelt condolences.

    ReplyDelete
  9. ChristineMarch 5, 2015 at 5:09 AM

    So terrribly sorry for your loss Kay, tears in my eyes, this is life.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sylvia KMarch 5, 2015 at 5:26 AM

    Oh, Kay, my heart aches for you and your Mom and I can feel both of your pain and loss! You will both be in my thoughts and prayers! Please give your Mom a hug for me!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. DinaMarch 5, 2015 at 5:49 AM

    Oh Kay, this is so sad. Auntie Grace's losing two daughters must have been too hard to bear. My sympathy and love to you all and especially to Mom. I am so glad she has you and Art so near.

    (Thanks for telling us about the near-death experience too.)

    ReplyDelete
  12. TaborMarch 5, 2015 at 6:03 AM

    So sorry for your grief in this time. Sending you calming and restoring wishes and give you mom a hug from me.

    ReplyDelete
  13. KarinMarch 5, 2015 at 6:24 AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences to you and your family. You wrote a beautiful tribute to Auntie Grace. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousMarch 5, 2015 at 6:35 AM

    What a sad time it must be for all of you. I am sending my sympathies and condolences along with a prayer for peace and comfort. You seem to be finding some comfort in knowing that your aunt is still looking over you. Remembering how she lived her life and how she would want you to carry on after she is gone will help.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousMarch 5, 2015 at 6:38 AM

    So sorry for the loss of your beloved Auntie Grace..Her name even sounds sweet as sugar! Your Mother was especially close and it is a big shock to lose one's sister if one is close..I will chant and pray and send out loving thoughts to your Mother to have some solace..Life is indeed very short and one can never know if today will be the last day of one's life, live it well and love everyone I say..Peace to you and your Mother...ciao from mary this side of the usa in the pacific northwest we are not seeing any precipitation and NO SNOWPACK, the farmers will suffer and many lost jobs in the ski industry, even the tulips and daffys are bloomin very early, is Mother Earth trying to tell us something about GLOBAL WARMING, peace to you and yours!! ciao! & Love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. KayMarch 5, 2015 at 4:34 PM

      Thank you very much for your kindness. We'll be taking mom to the NW again. I hope the tulips will still be blooming.

      Delete
  16. AnonymousMarch 5, 2015 at 6:58 AM

    You are such a wonderful daughter, Kay. I can feel your heartbreak and concern for your mom's grief. The hardest thing to live through is the loss of a person close to you, and your mom lost a dear sister who was also her best friend. Auntie Grace was loved so in this life, and as the Iz song says, she will love your mom forever. I do believe Auntie Grace 's love is forever. My condolence to you and your family.

    L...w

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. KayMarch 5, 2015 at 4:31 PM

      Thank you for your beautiful words, L...w. I can almost hear Iz's voice.

      Delete
  17. jalnaMarch 5, 2015 at 7:24 AM

    Oh so sorry, Kay.

    ReplyDelete
  18. LornaMarch 5, 2015 at 8:22 AM

    Aunty Hiroko, Kay and Dennis: Please accept our condolences on the devastating loss of a loved one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. KayMarch 5, 2015 at 4:29 PM

      Thank you, Lorna. I know the losses you and Holly have suffered also and send you all our love.

      Delete
  19. GosiaMarch 5, 2015 at 8:39 AM

    RIP. But the death it is a part of life. What a loss. Take care

    ReplyDelete
  20. MageMarch 5, 2015 at 9:28 AM

    I am so very sorry. Such a special person to your family, but so unexpected. Hugs and caring from here.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Honolulu AuntyMarch 5, 2015 at 9:35 AM

    Kay, I lost my husband last year. Prior to, I could never imagine what life would be like without his strength and love besides me.

    My greatest comfort is knowing that he is in a far far better place than here on earth. That, and remembering the times of joy and warmth together. Your Auntie Grace experienced death and back when she was young, which probably shaped her into the fine person she became, and hopefully also eased her sorrow at the loss of her daughters.

    My condolences to you and your mom. I share with you my favorite sympathy card from a distant friend which starts with a quote by James Joyce:

    "They lived and laughed and loved and left." And the world will never be the same.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. KayMarch 5, 2015 at 4:28 PM

      Thank you very much for your beautiful words, Aunty Honolulu. I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't even bear to think of Art being gone. You are so very loving and strong.

      Delete
  22. OlgaMarch 5, 2015 at 10:48 AM

    I am so sorry for your loss. Her spirit will endure.

    ReplyDelete
  23. AnneMarch 5, 2015 at 10:57 AM

    Sending you and yours peace during this sad time.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Kathy GMarch 5, 2015 at 11:14 AM

    Oh, no! What a horrible few months this has been for your family. Take comfort in knowing your Aunt didn't linger in pain. Give your Mom a kiss and a hug and tell her you love her.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Arkansas PattiMarch 5, 2015 at 1:03 PM

    Oh Kay, I am so very sorry. You have written several wonderful posts about this special lady and how important she was to your family, especially your Mom. It is just brutal to lose a sibling. Sending hugs and best wishes to your Mom and deepest sympathies to you and all her family. Hold each other close at this time.

    ReplyDelete
  26. DJanMarch 5, 2015 at 3:06 PM

    My comment went away. But Kay, I am thinking of myself when I think of my own sister and how much I would miss her. I am sending love and concern to your wonderful mother for her loss. :-(

    ReplyDelete
  27. RedMarch 5, 2015 at 3:48 PM

    I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. My sympathy to you and your family. I like the way you gain strength from Auntie Grace.

    ReplyDelete
  28. AdamMarch 5, 2015 at 5:20 PM

    I'm sorry for your loss, especially for your mother. Losing a sibling must not be easy.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Linda ReederMarch 5, 2015 at 8:01 PM

    I remember your trip to Japan, and how Grace took such good care of her sister. The love was strong between those two. It is a terrible loss.
    You didn't say what happened to take her so suddenly. Is it something you can share?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. KayMarch 5, 2015 at 8:04 PM

      To be honest, I really don't know yet. I think it was a stroke or cerebral hemorrhage. It was very sudden. Mom is glad her sister didn't have to suffer, but the shock of it was terrible for everyone who loved her.

      Delete
  30. DeniseinVAMarch 7, 2015 at 5:44 PM

    I'm so sorry for you all, what a very sad loss for your Mom and for you and the rest of her family. She was a very special lady who will be greatly missed.

    ReplyDelete
  31. munMarch 7, 2015 at 7:05 PM

    I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. I am sure that all of you will keep Auntie Grace in your heart forever.

    ReplyDelete
  32. RamblingWoods2.comMarch 8, 2015 at 11:17 AM

    You had told me this in a comment and it is so hard to lose a loved one..but a sister. I have a sister and I don't know what I would do. It is a special shared history and bond. I hope your Mom will be able to cope in time..hugs to you and your family...

    ReplyDelete
  33. Thickethouse.wordpressMarch 10, 2015 at 5:51 AM

    I just read this today and am so very sorry to hear of your loss. Your Aunt Grace sounds so very special and loved and such a big part of your lives. I send my prayers and sincere sympathy.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Granny AnnieMarch 11, 2015 at 12:13 AM

    So sorry:(

    ReplyDelete
  35. Jenn JilksMarch 11, 2015 at 1:45 PM

    This is beautiful: " I can somehow feel that strong, always buoyant spirit of Auntie Grace still here."

    ReplyDelete
  36. Rhapsody PhoenixMarch 13, 2015 at 8:29 AM

    blessings and my sympathies for your loss.
    It seems we both experience losses already this year. Its an unfortunate reality of life. I hope your mother is able to cope with her absences going forward. Its all we can do.

    ReplyDelete

I really LOVE hearing from you! However, if you sign in as ANONYMOUS, please don't forget to tell me who you are in the comment box by just writing your first name. We would all appreciate it if you kept your comment respectful and kind.

I’m using Comment Moderation for any post that is more than a day old because of aggravating SPAM. Therefore, if your comment does not go up on an older (more than a day old) post, it's because I need to OK it first. I'm sorry to have to do this, but again... sigh... it's the spam that's driving me crazy.

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)