I'm writing this just because I don't know what else to do with myself. Art and I are both reeling from the shock and trying to come to terms with what's happened.
Karen, our dear friend and neighbor for more than 20 years in Illinois passed away of a sudden heart attack. It's absolutely incomprehensible. She is over 10 years younger than me and in much better physical condition.
Tiffany and KC had gone over and talked to Karen this morning to tell her about KC's first meeting with her kindergarten teacher.
I remember when Karen and her husband moved in. It was so much fun to see her in her wedding dress, entering her new home. Karen told me she still remembered seeing Tiffany riding her little bike with her hair in pigtails. Eventually, Karen became a contemporary of both the kids and us. She could relate to anybody at their level. And now Karen was a favorite "auntie" to KC.
Karen was sunshine and springtime, always cheerful, friendly and ready to help anybody who needed it. We often saw her walking the dogs, blond ponytail swinging merrily and waving hello.
Karen's husband came home from work and found her collapsed on the floor and the ambulance came immediately.
Tiffany called to tell me right away that Karen was taken to the hospital. An hour later, Tif called again trying to control her voice so that KC would not hear.
"Mom..." she said. I don't remember her words exactly. I remember her trying to tell me without using the words, gone or died or passed away. Those words would make it too real.
Our hearts are broken for Karen's family. Our hearts are broken for ourselves.
"What will I tell KC?" asked Tiffany. "She wants to know what happened to her 'Auntie' Karen."
"I don't know," I answered.
I really don't.
Tiffany and KC had gone over and talked to Karen this morning to tell her about KC's first meeting with her kindergarten teacher.
I remember when Karen and her husband moved in. It was so much fun to see her in her wedding dress, entering her new home. Karen told me she still remembered seeing Tiffany riding her little bike with her hair in pigtails. Eventually, Karen became a contemporary of both the kids and us. She could relate to anybody at their level. And now Karen was a favorite "auntie" to KC.
Karen was sunshine and springtime, always cheerful, friendly and ready to help anybody who needed it. We often saw her walking the dogs, blond ponytail swinging merrily and waving hello.
Karen's husband came home from work and found her collapsed on the floor and the ambulance came immediately.
Tiffany called to tell me right away that Karen was taken to the hospital. An hour later, Tif called again trying to control her voice so that KC would not hear.
"Mom..." she said. I don't remember her words exactly. I remember her trying to tell me without using the words, gone or died or passed away. Those words would make it too real.
Our hearts are broken for Karen's family. Our hearts are broken for ourselves.
"What will I tell KC?" asked Tiffany. "She wants to know what happened to her 'Auntie' Karen."
"I don't know," I answered.
I really don't.
oh my gosh Kay, I'm so so sorry.
ReplyDeleteThat is especially sad that you three generations have lost a friend. And so without warning.
ReplyDeleteLoss and grief are so hard, whether you are a little girl or a grandmother.
From what you tell, Karen's memory will be a blessing.
I am so sorry Kay. What a shock. Heart attacks for women are quick without the usual symptoms we sort of associate with them. Tiffany must be in shock after only speaking to her that day. My prayers are with you all. You will find the right words for KC in time. Take Care of yourselves.
ReplyDeleteOh Kay so sorry to hear this shocking news, my first thought was what to tell KC...there's always google (depends on the child's age too of course) but I imagine they must be told in some suitable way that they can handle and understand!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear of this. I feel for the loss of this lovely person in the world. As you probably know, my son Chris died of a sudden heart attack while jogging at the age of 40. It's amazing now how often I hear of this happening to others, now that I am sensitized to it. It makes me realize how important it is to cherish each day of life I have and to give thanks for each one.
ReplyDeleteThat's awful! I'm so sorry...
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Kay. What a shock! I imagine it must be extra hard that you are so far away.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure Tiffany will handle it as well as can be done with KC.
I'm so sorry, Kay. Thinking of you all.
ReplyDeletedeath is a part of life that perhaps children handle better than we do?
ReplyDeleteDJan is right, cherish each day. My SIL died suddenly at age 34, leaving 4 girls ages 1,3,5, and 7. 3 of my co-workers died of sudden ailments too.
ReplyDelete1/ Roger fell off a ladder, got a blood clot from his broken leg, and it went to his heart and killed him. (I won't let David up on ladders anymore.)
2/ Sam developed a blister on his heel from walking in Germany (on a trip) and it went septic. He was taken to the hospital, released later and died while sitting at the airport.
3/ Marty was shot by an intruder who killed her husband. She nearly died, but she is forever grateful the killer had bad aim.
Now you take care and live for today. Bless you.
Dianne
Death is not to be feared. For some reason, God decided to take Karen now rather than later. My condolences to her family.
ReplyDeleteRest in peace, Karen!!
ReplyDeleteThat kind of death is such a shock to friends & family. Blessings to you & your family as you work through this loss. Got any pictures you could use to make KC a little remembrance book of this nice lady. Pictures that tell the story of her time in the life of your family.
ReplyDeleteOh Kay, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend!! What a shock! HUGS to you all!
ReplyDeleteMy mother would always say good people die first. She said that when her uncle passed away rather young. He fell from his tree and died of brain injuries. I don't know if that could be a spiritual calling or because good people care about others so much they forget to think of themselves first.
ReplyDeleteYour world is about light and love. Losing a good neighbor and friend is a light loss in your beautiful universe of thousand lights.
L. from W.
Such sad news. There aren't any words . . .
ReplyDeleteWhat a hole this sudden death leaves in you whole family, not to mention hers. It's especially hard when you aren't there.
ReplyDeleteI like Linda's idea of a memory book, if there are photos you have to use.
My condolences. This is so sad.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. It is very difficult for us to lose someone younger. Sometimes the body just breaks down.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I visited Kingston to mourn his friend who died of cancer. They lived together as young men in university. It is important to celebrate the days they lived, not focus on the day they died. Many hugs.
I am so very sorry. Sudden death is so hard to wrap our brains around. I too like the idea of the memory book.
ReplyDeleteWhile losing someone in death is difficult, it is even more so when it is a shock and totally unexpected. My prayers are with you and all who knew and loved this woman...now an angel and watching over you.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. You can take some comfort that Karen did not suffer, that she was doing something this morning (visiting with your daughter and granddaughter) that she enjoyed. I do believe that your daughter must tell your granddaughter that her good friend has died and will be gone. Let the child ask questions. Take her to the funeral. Our daughter has often commented on how we handled death for her when she was little (and I don't remember, but she does) and how it helped her understand better about death, that it took the mystery away. Again, my sympathies for your loss.
ReplyDeleteKay & Art-
ReplyDeletePlease accept our deepest condolences. You wrote a very sweet post about someone I wish I'd known.
Kay, I'm so sorry for your family's loss.
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry. It's most horrible to lose a good friend. My heart goes out to everyone.
ReplyDeleteI was glad to read in the next post how well Tiffany handled this loss with KC. So sorry for this loss of such a young and vital dear friend of yours.
ReplyDeleteOh I am so sorry for everyone who loved Karen...I am sorry Kay...hugs..
ReplyDelete