I saw this Frazz cartoon in the Star Advertiser a while back and it made me think.
It would be tempting to say it's right now. I'm retired, comfortable and back home in Hawaii where I grew up. I have friends here, but I don't see them enough.
There was another time.
We were in Illinois, living in a suburban community of under a hundred homes where everybody seemed to know everybody. Most of the people around me had children about the same age as ours. We were mostly stay at home moms. My lifelong friends were Peggy, Rosa, Ann, Vera, Sally, Norma, Phyllis H, and though she didn't live in our village, Dina. There were also friends Art met at work who we spent a lot of time with and also became our lifelong friends. We also went on cross country trips with those friends. There were casual parties all the time. You had to just walk out your door and bump into friends. It was a halcyon time before aches, pains, illnesses came into the picture. It was a time before our children grew up and moved way.
OK... I can almost hear our daughter saying, "I didn't move away. You did."
OK... never mind.
There was also the time after this when I went back to teaching and found another kind of joy, friendship and satisfaction in working with children...
Time to get back to the present. We have to make our own happiness in the present time and I'm working on it.
What time of your life do/did you like the best?
It would be tempting to say it's right now. I'm retired, comfortable and back home in Hawaii where I grew up. I have friends here, but I don't see them enough.
There was another time.
We were in Illinois, living in a suburban community of under a hundred homes where everybody seemed to know everybody. Most of the people around me had children about the same age as ours. We were mostly stay at home moms. My lifelong friends were Peggy, Rosa, Ann, Vera, Sally, Norma, Phyllis H, and though she didn't live in our village, Dina. There were also friends Art met at work who we spent a lot of time with and also became our lifelong friends. We also went on cross country trips with those friends. There were casual parties all the time. You had to just walk out your door and bump into friends. It was a halcyon time before aches, pains, illnesses came into the picture. It was a time before our children grew up and moved way.
OK... I can almost hear our daughter saying, "I didn't move away. You did."
OK... never mind.
There was also the time after this when I went back to teaching and found another kind of joy, friendship and satisfaction in working with children...
Time to get back to the present. We have to make our own happiness in the present time and I'm working on it.
What time of your life do/did you like the best?
Like everyone, I have many memories of the past, but I tend to focus on the present and the future. Even as I get older, I have no interest in living in the past. Regrets are pointless, and the joys are only a memory. I would rather find things to enjoy right now.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful look back Kay. I'm at the point now where I realize we go through various phases in life and it requires adjustments to change from time to time. So saying, I think each phase has it's joys and pains, it's life I guess. Maybe our best times are yet to come! your mom has the perfect life to me!
ReplyDeleteMy husband's brother in law seemed so much more relaxed when he retired. He had a very responsible job and it must have been a relief to just focus on travelling the world after that.
My working life was busy and filled with activity. My retired life is the same, only less of the busyness and more time to do what I want rather than what the job required.
ReplyDeleteI think every time of our lives has its good and bad. Those busy days of raising kids are very special and I certainly have some great memories of them, but I think to be most content I need to focus on the good in the here and now.
ReplyDeleteRight now is the best time of my life, retired, and before problems of growing old have begun.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I want to say the flag-holder in the upper right photo has a lovely curve in the leg. Obviously not some one in uniform.
ReplyDeleteSecondly I have few friends from my young adult years for a variety of reasons I won't go into here but they mostly involve me dropping the correspondance, etc. I am almost painfully introverted, and I think extroverts do a better job of keeping in touch. I read that most teachers are extroverts and therefore more likely to stay in touch with friends, lucky you.
Thirdly, I experienced so much pain when I was younger, I like the saying, "My worst days now are better than my best days then." Another saying from my fellowship friends is "Don't look back unless you want to go there."
For me the past really is a foreign country.
Dianne
PS, I got that Epson printer and now am trying to figure out how to split the photo of the row of four slides. Any ideas?
Split the photo? I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean.
DeleteHello again, Diane,
DeletePlease go to this website for directions on how to scan your slides.
http://files.support.epson.com/htmldocs/prv5ph/prv5phug/set2_2.htm#S-00600-00200
Schimidley brings up an interesting point to me, since I spent about 44 years as a teacher. I have noticed that many teachers seem to me to inherently be introverts when they were children and, because they love to learn and study, BECOME extroverts in order to relay their knowledge, make it interesting, and relate to others. I have taken a personality test at least three times and I was solid on 3 of the 4 qualities (ENTR or something like that--I forget), but I was slippery on the introvert/extrovert scale, answering questions differently each time. Shy as a child, I now enjoy talking to strangers and will do so when appropriate. Occasionally in Hawaii you run into people who are not receptive to that at all---great-stone-face types. Not to get deeply into cultural stereotypes, but when I visited Ireland, I could see that talking to strangers was the name of the game over there. As a Butler on my Mother's side, an Irish family name, I do see a connection. That's my own evolution. And I don't think I'm the only one.
DeleteActually, Dianne and Hank, I'm a solid introvert. I have to make a strong effort to get out there and talk to people. It's not something that comes easily for me.
DeleteHow funny that you should mention the Irish. When my son and his girlfriend were in Ireland doing organic farming, they said that everybody would come and talk to you in the pubs. Everybody was friendly and accepting. When they stayed in France, you had to make the effort to talk to people. The French tended to be more private. The Japanese would probably feel like they wouldn't want to intrude on your party. However, Jon and Sarah really enjoyed the Irish joviality and friendliness. I know I would too.
Also depends on whether you are thinking/feeling (T/F). Thinkers have a more difficult time connecting...one can be introverted but a feeler, so can relate better to people than an introverted thinker. I suspect Dianne is a thinker (as well as myself). I really studied Myers Briggs about 20 years ago to help with some of my social awkwardness. I was and still am such a social retard.
DeleteL. from W.
As far as introvert/extrovert I'm 50/50. But I'm an introvert/extrovert thinker. I need to see my thoughts materialize in reality (also being judging instead of perceptive so I need to see closure). Therefore I am somewhat more impatient than a solid introvert perceptive. The other part is intuition/sensing. It helps to be sensing in order to communicate with people better.
DeleteL. from W.
I like where I am, here and now - and I always have done.
ReplyDeleteEvery phase in life has its pros and cons, so I can't choose only one that I enjoyed. I enjoyed traveling through Europe back in 1969-70, and I couldn't have been happier. Then when Maria was born, that, too, was a peak experience. The first two years of her life with me were heavenly. When we got our reverse mortgage, that was such a relief. We could give money to our children and have lots of money in the bank. My present life would be better if only I had perfect health... But I enjoy traveling and babysitting my grandson. These are precious years for me. I hope I live long enough to see how he turns out as an adult. College grad? Career? Married with children? So much to look forward to!
ReplyDeleteThese days, I find myself reminiscing a lot....maybe because I now read blogs? Haha...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I prefer the present and future.
L. from W.
I liked the years when the Dynamic Duo were still a large part of my life. That said, I encouraged them to go out into the world and make their own lives and they did!!! And I am intensely proud of that -- I know too many people whose kids are camped on their doorstep and are raising their grands. Yes, I miss them but I'm very proud of them.
ReplyDeletesuch beautiful photos, Our early years were much like yours, illness has changed our lives but its still happy , just a different happy,
ReplyDeleteI hear you on this post. I have never really felt personally connect where I now live. We have many professional connections, but few are personal connections. I do think when our children were younger, we were closer to families with children. I don't know why that is true, but sometimes, I also long for those days.
ReplyDeleteInteresting about being closer to families with children. We frequently became friends with the families of our kids' friends. That brought together families that might otherwise never have mixed. One example would be a leading manufacturer, rich, I suppose, though very modest about MONEY, in Yellow Springs, Ohio who collected automobileas and us, a couple of English teachers. All because the kids were friends. There's something democratic about that that I like. Another example would be a Black couple who had been active in the Civil Rights Movement with SNCC down South. Again, it happened in part because our kids were friends.
DeleteNow that you mention it, I agree with Hank also. Many of our closest friends happened because our kids were friends.
Deletethat's a really hard question to answer.....
ReplyDeleteI loved my childhood. I had such great parents.
I love when my children were young and at home.
I love, love having grandchildren....nothing like it.
Guess I could say I love the moment!
The past is important for the present, because of the good memories! Thanks for your visit! Yes it is Dina in one of the photos. She was testing the water of the spring.She took us to this friary.It was a beautiful day.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed my 30s the most. My little ones were still little, and we lived in Europe and had so much fun!
ReplyDeleteBut I'm happy enough now.
just got my laptop back...well i definitely like the present best because i understand all that has past and not it makes my life more interesting today...
ReplyDeleteWhen the kids were young in Yellow Springs, Ohio and Albuquerque, New Mexico were the best times for me. I am not weather or geography-oriented, so living in Hawaii is fine and I am happy about it but not the BEST and that's what you asked. On the other hand, I do not long for a past which can never return. On the third hand, "Boo hoo, why did you have to bring up this subject?" :-)
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite quotations is "The past is a foreign country. They do things differently there." (L. P. Hartley. "The Go-Between")
Oh, Kay, this post makes me a little melancholy. I wonder if you are feeling that way too. Remembering the good old days when our kids were young and so were we!
ReplyDeleteAnd yet, although I have loved most stages of my life, I would not go back to any of them. Now is good.
Sigh... I'm scanning slides now and I think it is affecting my mood a little. I am enjoying my life now, but believe it or not... it's a little lonelier than it used to be.
Delete"we now return to regular program in progress," lol.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very interesting topic. And a tough one to answer. I spent a lot of my early years struggling to crawl out of poverty, scratch out a career and find the right partner. So, I look back at those years with both fondness and the memory of how frustrating it was.
ReplyDeleteThings are better now, but it's a real challenge to mantain a long view while in the thick of keeping a career, family and home going. I hope I can look back on it as an exciting, rewarding time someday.
I'm looking forward to the early retirement years when I can do what I like and be able to enjoy it.
I guess John Lennon was right: Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.
This is such a wonderful, insightful comment. Thank you so much. You're so right about the John Lennon quote. I need to also remember to enjoy what's happening now as well as what's past. I do remember loving and being conscious of the happy times we were having while we were in the midst of it.
DeleteU know i always tell my friends that i am not looking forward to getting old...it seems so lonley....ur kids hAve their own lives and u don't have many friends and ur plagued with ailing health...i hope it's not that way. When i read ur blog, i feel like u have such a busy and fun retirement and i was hoping that my retirement would be like yours.
ReplyDeleteShaka sherry